Developing an Argument of Your Own

Developing an Argument of Your Own

The difficult part in an argument is not to defend one’s opinion but to know what it is.

— ANDRÉ MAUROIS

Imagine that you enter a parlor. You come late. When you arrive, others have long preceded you, and they are engaged in a heated discussion, a discussion too heated for them to pause and tell you exactly what it is about. In fact, the discussion had already begun long before any of them got there, so that no one present is qualified to retrace for you all the steps that had gone before. You listen for a while, until you decide that you have caught the tenor of the argument; then you put in your oar. Someone answers; you answer him; another comes to your defense; another aligns himself against you, to either the embarrassment or gratification of your opponent, depending upon the quality of your ally’s assistance. However, the discussion is interminable. The hour grows late, you must depart. And you do depart, with the discussion still vigorously in progress.

— KENNETH BURKE

No greater misfortune could happen to anyone than that of developing a dislike for argument.

— PLATO

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PLANNING, DRAFTING, AND REVISING AN ARGUMENT

First, hear the wisdom of Mark Twain: “When the Lord finished the world, He pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious early opinions.”

All of us, teachers and students, have our moments of confidence, but for the most part we know that it takes considerable effort to write clear, thoughtful, seemingly effortless prose. In a conversation we can cover ourselves with such expressions as “Well, I don’t know, but I sort of think . . . ,” and we can always revise our position (“Oh, well, I didn’t mean it that way”), but once we have handed in the final version of our writing, we are helpless. We are (putting it strongly) naked to our enemies.

Getting Ideas In Chapter 1 we quoted Robert Frost, “To learn to write is to learn to have ideas,” and we offered suggestions about getting ideas, a process traditionally called invention. A moment ago we said that we often improve our ideas when we try to explain them to some- one else. Partly, of course, we are responding to questions or objec- tions raised by our companion in the conversation. But partly we are responding to ourselves: Almost as soon as we hear what we have to say, we may find that it won’t do, and, if we are lucky, we may find a better idea surfacing. One of the best ways of getting ideas is to talk things over.

The process of talking things over usually begins with the text that you are reading: Your marginal notes, your summary, and your queries parenthetically incorporated within your summary are a kind of dialogue between you and the author you are read- ing. More obviously, when you talk with friends about your topic, you are trying out and developing ideas. Finally, after reading, tak- ing notes, and talking, you may feel that you now have clear ideas and need only put them into writing. And so you take a sheet of blank paper, and perhaps a paralyzing thought suddenly strikes: “I have ideas but just can’t put them into words.”

Despite what many people believe,

• Writing is not only a matter of putting one’s ideas into words.

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• Just as talking with others is a way of getting ideas, writing is a way of getting and developing ideas.

Writing, in short, can be an important part of critical thinking. One big reason we have trouble writing is our fear of putting ourselves on record, but another big reason is our fear that we have no ideas worth putting down. But by jotting down notes — or even free associations — and by writing a draft, however weak, we can help ourselves to think our way toward good ideas.

Freewriting Writing for five or six minutes, nonstop, without censoring what you produce is one way of getting words down on paper that will help to lead to improved thoughts. Some people who write on a computer find it useful to dim the screen so they won’t be tempted to look up and fiddle too soon with what they have just written. Later they illuminate the screen, scroll back, and notice some keywords or passages that can be used later in drafting a paper.

Listing Jotting down items, just as you do when you make a shopping list, is another way of getting ideas. When you make a shopping list, you write ketchup, and the act of writing it reminds you that you also need hamburger rolls — and that in turn reminds you (who knows how or why?) that you also need a can of tuna fish. Similarly, when you prepare a list of ideas for a paper, jotting down one item will generate another. Of course, when you look over the list, you will probably drop some of these ideas — the dinner menu will change — but you are making progress.

Diagramming Sketching some sort of visual representation of an essay is a kind of listing. Three methods of diagramming are espe- cially common:

• Clustering Write, in the middle of a sheet of paper, a word or phrase summarizing your topic (for instance, health care; see diagram, below), circle it, and then write down and circle a related word (for example, gov’t-provided). Perhaps this leads you to write higher taxes, and you then circle this phrase and connect it to gov’t-provided. The next thing that occurs to you is employer-provided — and so you write this down and circle it. You will not connect this to higher taxes, but you will connect it to health care because it is a sort of parallel to gov’t- provided. The next thing that occurs to you is unemployed

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people. This category does not connect easily with employer- provided, so you won’t connect these two terms with a line, but you probably will connect unemployed people with health care and maybe also with gov’t-provided. Keep going, jotting down ideas, and making connections where possible, indicat- ing relationships.

• Branching Some writers find it useful to build a tree, moving from the central topic to the main branches (chief ideas) and then to the twigs (aspects of the chief ideas).

• Comparing in columns Draw a line down the middle of the page, and then set up two columns showing oppositions. For instance, if you are concerned with health care, you might head one column gov’t-provided and the other employer- provided. Under the first column, you might write covers unemployed, and under the second column, you might write omits unemployed. You might go on to write, under the first column, higher taxes, and under the second, higher prices — or whatever else relevant comes to mind.

All of these methods can, of course, be executed with pen and paper, but you may also be able to use them on your computer depending on the capabilities of your software.

Whether you are using a computer or a pen, you put down some words and almost immediately see that they need improve- ment, not simply a little polishing but a substantial overhaul. You write, “Race should be counted in college admissions for two rea- sons,” and as soon as you write these words, a third reason comes to mind. Or perhaps one of those “two reasons” no longer seems very good. As E. M. Forster said, “How can I know what I think till I see what I say?” We have to see what we say, we have to get

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employer-provided

HEALTH CARE

gov’t-provided

unemployed people

higher taxes

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something down on paper, before we realize that we need to make it better.

Writing, then, is really rewriting — that is, revising — and a revision is a re-vision, a second look. The paper that you hand in should be clear and may even seem effortless to the reader, but in all likelihood the clarity and apparent ease are the result of a struggle with yourself, a struggle during which you greatly improved your first thoughts. You begin by putting down your ideas, such as they are, perhaps even in the random order in which they occurred, but sooner or later comes the job of looking at them critically, developing what is useful in them and chucking out what is not. If you follow this procedure you will be in the company of Picasso, who said that he “advanced by means of destruction.”

Whether you advance bit by bit (writing a sentence, revising it, writing the next, and so on) or whether you write an entire first draft and then revise it and revise it again and again is chiefly a mat- ter of temperament. Probably most people combine both approaches, backing up occasionally but trying to get to the end fairly soon so that they can see rather quickly what they know, or think they know, and can then start the real work of thinking, of converting their initial ideas into something substantial.

Asking Questions Getting ideas, we said when we talked about topics and invention strategies in Chapter 1 (p. 15) is mostly a matter of asking (and then thinking about) questions. We append questions to the end of each argumentative essay in this book, not to torment you but to help you to think about the arguments — for instance, to turn your attention to especially important matters. If your instructor asks you to write an answer to one of these ques- tions, you are lucky: Examining the question will stimulate your mind to work in a definite direction.

If a topic is not assigned, and you are asked to write an argu- ment, you will find that some ideas (possibly poor ones, at this stage, but that doesn’t matter because you will soon revise) will come to mind if you ask yourself questions. You can begin finding where you stand on an issue (stasis) by asking the following five basic questions:

1. What is X? 2. What is the value of X? 3. What are the causes (or the consequences) of X? 4. What should (or ought or must) we do about X? 5. What is the evidence for my claims about X?

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Let’s spend a moment looking at each of these questions.

1. What is X? We can hardly argue about the number of people sentenced to death in the United States in 2000 — a glance at the appropriate government report will give the answer — but we can argue about whether capital punishment as administered in the United States is discriminatory. Does the evidence, we can ask, support the view that in the United States the death penalty is unfair? Similarly, we can ask whether a human fetus is a human being (in saying what something is, must we take account of its potentiality?), and, even if we agree that a fetus is a human being, we can further ask about whether it is a person. In Roe v. Wade the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that even the “viable” unborn human fetus is not a “person” as that term is used in the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. Here the question is this: Is the essential fact about the fetus that it is a person?

An argument of this sort makes a claim — that is, it takes a stand, but notice that it does not also have to argue for an action. Thus, it may argue that the death penalty is administered unfairly — that’s a big enough issue — but it need not go on to argue that the death penalty should be abolished. After all, another possibility is that the death penalty should be administered fairly. The writer of the essay may be doing enough if he or she establishes the truth of the claim and leaves to others the possible responses.

2. What is the value of X? College courses often call for lit- erary judgments. No one can argue with you if you say you prefer the plays of Tennessee Williams to those of Arthur Miller. But aca- demic papers are not mere declarations of preferences. As soon as you say that Williams is a better playwright than Miller, you have based your preference on implicit standards, and it is incumbent on you to support your preference by giving evidence about the rela- tive skill, insight, and accomplishments of Williams and of Miller. Your argument is an evaluation. The question now at issue is the merits of the two authors and the standards appropriate for such an appraisal.

In short, an essay offering an evaluation normally has two purposes:

• To set forth an assessment, and

• To convince the reader that the assessment is reasonable.

In writing an evaluation, you will have to rely on criteria, and these will vary depending on your topic. For instance, if you are comparing the artistic merit of the plays by Williams and by Miller,

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you may want to talk about the quality of the characterization, the importance of the theme, and so on. But if the topic is “Which playwright is more suitable to be taught in high school?,” other cri- teria may be appropriate, such as

• The difficulty of the author’s language,

• The sexual content of some scenes, and

• The presence of obscene words.

Or consider a nonliterary issue: On balance, are college frater- nities and sororities good or bad? If good, how good? If bad, how bad? What criteria can we use in making our evaluation? Probably some or all of the following:

• Testimony of authorities (for instance, persons who can offer firsthand testimony about the good or bad effects),

• Inductive evidence (we can collect examples of good or bad effects),

• Appeals to logic (“it follows, therefore, that . . .”), and

• Appeals to emotion (for instance, an appeal to our sense of fairness).

3. What are the causes (or the consequences) of X? Why did the rate of auto theft increase during a specific period? If we abol- ish the death penalty, will that cause the rate of murder to increase? Notice, by the way, that such problems may be complex. The phe- nomena that people usually argue about — say, such things as infla- tion, war, suicide, crime — have many causes, and it is therefore often a mistake to speak of the cause of X. A writer in Time mentioned that the life expectancy of an average American male is about sixty-seven years, a figure that compares unfavorably with the life expectancy of males in Japan and Israel. The Time writer suggested that an impor- tant cause of the relatively short life span is “the pressure to perform well in business.” Perhaps. But the life expectancy of plumbers is no greater than that of managers and executives. Nutrition authority Jean Mayer, in an article in Life, attributed the relatively poor longevity of American males to a diet that is “rich in fat and poor in nutrients.” Doubtless other authorities propose other causes, and in all likelihood no one cause accounts for the phenomenon.

Or take a second example of discussions of causality, this one con- cerning the academic performance of girls in single-sex schools, middle schools, and high schools. It is pretty much agreed (based on statistical evidence) that the graduates of these schools do better, as a group,

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than girls who graduate from co-educational schools. Why do girls in single-sex schools tend, as a group, to do better? What is the cause? The administrators of girls’ schools usually attribute the success to the fact (we are admittedly putting the matter bluntly) that young women flourish better in an atmosphere free from male intimidation: They allegedly gain confidence and become more expressive when they are not threatened by males. And this may be the answer, but skeptics have attributed the success to two other causes:

• Most single-sex schools require parents to pay tuition and it is a documented fact that the children of well-to-do parents do better, academically, than the children of poor parents.

• Further, most single-sex schools are private schools, and they select their students from a pool of candidates. Admissions officers naturally select those candidates who seem to be academically promising — that is, they select stu- dents who have already done well academically.1

In short, the girls who graduate from single-sex schools may owe their later academic success not to the atmosphere inside the schools, but to the fact that even at the time they were admitted to these schools they were academically stronger — we are, again, speaking of a cohort, not of individuals — than the girls who attend co-ed schools.

The lesson? Be cautious in attributing a cause. There may be several causes.

What kinds of support usually accompany claims of cause?

• Factual data, especially statistics;

• Analogies (“The Roman Empire declined because of X and Y,” “Our society exhibits X and Y, and therefore . . .”);

• Inductive evidence.

4. What should (or ought or must) we do about X? Must we always obey the law? Should the law allow eighteen-year-olds to drink alcohol? Should eighteen-year-olds be drafted to do one year of social service? Should pornography be censored? Should steroid

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1Until 2004 federal regulations discouraged public schools from separating boys from girls. As of the time of this comment [2009] there are only ninety-five single-sex public schools, twelve of which are in New York City. An article in the New York Times, 11 March 2009, page A20, suggests that there is little evidence that girls do better than boys in these schools. Indeed, in California a much-touted program in which six public middle schools and high schools were turned into single-sex acade- mies has been abandoned.

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use by athletes be banned? Ought there to be Good Samaritan laws, making it a legal duty for a stranger to intervene to save a person from death or great bodily harm, when one might do so with little or no risk to oneself? These questions involve conduct and policy; how we answer them will reveal our values and principles.

An essay answering questions of this sort usually

• Begins by explaining what the issue (the problem) is, then

• States why the reader should care about it, then

• Offers the proposed solution, then

• Considers alternative solutions, and finally

• Reaffirms the merit of the proposed solution, especially in the light of the audience’s interests and needs.

You will recall that throughout this book we have spoken about devices that help a writer to get ideas. If in drafting an essay con- cerned with policy you begin by jotting down your thoughts on the five bulleted items we have just given, you will almost surely uncover ideas that you didn’t know you had.

Support for claims of policy usually include

• Statistics,

• Appeals to common sense and to the reader’s moral sense, and

• Testimony of authorities.

5. What is the evidence for my claims about X? In com- menting on the four previous topics, we have talked about the kinds of support that are commonly offered, but a few additional points can be made.

Critical reading, writing, and thinking depend essentially on identifying and evaluating the evidence for and against the claims one makes and encounters in the writings of others. It is not enough to have an opinion or belief one way or the other; you need to be able to support your opinions — the bare fact of your sincere belief in what you say or write is not itself any evidence that what you believe is true.

So what are good reasons for opinions, adequate evidence for one’s beliefs? The answer, of course, depends on what kind of belief or opinion, assertion or hypothesis, claim or principle, you want to assert. For example, there is good evidence that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963, because this is

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the date for his death reported in standard almanacs. You could further substantiate the date by checking the back issues of the New York Times. But a different kind of evidence is needed to support the proposition that the chemical composition of water is H

2 O. And

you will need still other kinds of evidence to support your beliefs about the likelihood of rain tomorrow, the probability that the Red Sox will win the pennant this year, the twelfth digit in the decimal expansion of pi, the average cumulative grades of the graduating seniors over the past three years in your college, the relative merits of Hamlet and Death of a Salesman, and the moral dimensions of sex- ual harassment. None of these issues is merely a matter of opinion; yet on some of them, educated and informed people may disagree over the reasons and the evidence and what they show. Your job as a critical thinker is to be alert to the relevant reasons and evidence and to make the most of them as you present your views.

Again, an argument may take in two or more of these five issues. Someone who argues that pornography should (or should not) be censored

• Will have to mark out the territory of the discussion by defining pornography (our first issue: What is X?). The argu- ment probably

• Will also need to examine the consequences of adopting the preferred policy (our third issue) and

• May even have to argue about its value (our second issue). Some people maintain that pornography produces crime, but others main-tain that it provides a harmless outlet for impulses that otherwise might vent themselves in criminal behavior.

• Further, someone arguing about the wisdom of censoring pornography might have to face the objection that censorship, however desirable on account of some of its consequences, may be unconstitutional and that even if censorship were con- stitutional, it would (or might) have undesirable side effects, such as repressing freedom of political opinion.

• And one will always have to keep asking oneself our fifth question, What is the evidence for my claims?

Thinking about one or more of these questions may get you going. For instance, thinking about the first question, What is X ?, will require you to produce a definition, and as you work at pro- ducing a satisfactory definition, you may find new ideas arising. If a question seems relevant, start writing, even if you write only a

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fragmentary sentence. You’ll probably find that one word leads to another and that ideas begin to appear. Even if these ideas seem weak as you write them, don’t be discouraged; you have put some- thing on paper, and returning to these words, perhaps in five min- utes or perhaps the next day, you will probably find that some are not at all bad and that others will stimulate you to better ones.

It may be useful to record your ideas in a special notebook reserved for the purpose. Such a journal can be a valuable resource when it comes time to write your paper. Many students find it easier to focus their thoughts on writing if during the period of gestation they have been jotting down relevant ideas on some- thing more substantial than slips of paper or loose sheets. The very act of designating a notebook as your journal for a course can be the first step in focusing your attention on the eventual need to write a paper.

If what we have just said does not sound convincing, and you know from experience that you often have trouble getting started with your writing, don’t despair; first aid is at hand in a sure-fire method that we will now explain.

The Thesis Let’s assume that you are writing an argumentative essay — perhaps an evaluation of an argument in this book — and you have what seems to be a pretty good draft or at least a bunch of notes that are the result of hard thinking. You really do have ideas now, and you want to present them effectively. How will you organize your essay? No one formula works best for every essayist and for every essay, but it is usually advisable to formulate a basic thesis (a claim, a central point, a chief position) and to state it early. Every essay that is any good, even a book-length one, has a thesis (a main point), which can be stated briefly, usually in a sentence. Remember Coolidge’s remark on the preacher’s sermon on sin: “He was against it.” Don’t confuse the topic (sin) with the thesis (sin is bad). The thesis is the argumen- tative theme, the author’s primary claim or contention, the proposi- tion that the rest of the essay will explain and defend. Of course, the thesis may sound commonplace, but the book or essay or sermon ought to develop it interestingly and convincingly.

Here are some sample theses:

• Smoking should be prohibited in all enclosed public places.

• Smoking should be limited to specific parts of enclosed public places and entirely prohibited in small spaces, such as elevators.

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• Proprietors of public places such as restaurants and sports arenas should be free to determine whether they wish to prohibit, limit, or impose no limitations on smokers.

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Imagining an Audience Of course, the questions that you ask yourself to stimulate your thoughts will depend primarily on what you are writing about, but additional questions are always relevant:

• Who are my readers?

• What do they believe?

• What common ground do we share?

• What do I want my readers to believe?

• What do they need to know?

• Why should they care?

These questions require a little comment. The literal answer to the first probably is “my teacher,” but (unless you are given instructions to the contrary) you should not write specifically for your teacher. Instead, you should write for an audience that is, generally speaking, like your classmates. In short, your imagined audience is literate, intelligent, and moderately well informed, but it does not know everything that you know, and it does not know your response to the problem that you are addressing.

The essays in this book are from many different sources, each with its own audience. An essay from the New York Times is addressed to the educated general reader; an essay from Ms. maga- zine is addressed to readers sympathetic to feminism. An essay

✓ A CHECKLIST FOR A THESIS STATEMENT Consider the following questions: � Does the statement make an arguable assertion rather than (a)

merely assert an unarguable fact, (b) merely announce a topic, or (c) declare an unarguable opinion or belief?

� Is the statement broad enough to cover the entire argument that I will be presenting, and is it narrow enough for me to be able to cover the topic in the space allotted?

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from Commonweal, a Roman Catholic publication addressed to the nonspecialist, is likely to differ in point of view or tone from one in Time, even though both articles may advance approximately the same position. The writer of the article in Commonweal may, for example, effectively cite church fathers and distinguished Roman Catholic writers as authorities, whereas the writer of the Time article would probably cite few or even none of these figures because a non-Catholic audience might be unfamiliar with them or, even if familiar, might be unimpressed by their views.

The tone as well as the gist of the argument is in some degree shaped by the audience. For instance, popular journals, such as the National Review and Ms. magazine, are more likely to use ridicule than are journals chiefly addressed to, say, an academic audience.

The Audience as Collaborator If you imagine an audience and keep asking yourself what this audience needs to be told and what it doesn’t need to be told, you will find that material comes to mind, just as it comes to mind when a friend asks you what a film you saw was about, who was in it, and how you liked it.

Your readers do not have to be told that Thomas Jefferson was an American statesman in the early years of this country’s history, but they do have to be told that Elizabeth Cady Stanton was a late- nineteenth-century American feminist. Why? You need to identify Stanton because it’s your hunch that your classmates never heard of her, or even if they may have heard the name, they can’t quite identify it. But what if your class has been assigned an essay by Stanton? In that case your imagined reader knows Stanton’s name and knows at least a little about her, so you don’t have to identify Stanton as an American of the nineteenth century. But you do still have to remind your reader about relevant aspects of her essay, and you do have to tell your reader about your responses to them.

After all, even if the instructor has assigned an essay by Stanton, you cannot assume that your classmates know the essay inside out. Obviously, you can’t say, “Stanton’s third reason is also unconvincing,” without reminding the reader, by means of a brief summary, of her third reason. Again,

• Think of your classmates — people like you — as your imag- ined readers; and

• Be sure that your essay does not make unreasonable demands.

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If you ask yourself,

• “What do my readers need to know?” and

• “What do I want them to believe?,”

you will find some answers arising, and you will start writing. We have said that you should imagine your audience as your

classmates. But this is not the whole truth. In a sense, your argu- ment is addressed not simply to your classmates but to the world interested in ideas. Even if you can reasonably assume that your classmates have read only one work by Stanton, you will not begin your essay by writing “Stanton’s essay is deceptively easy.” You will have to name the work; it is possible that a reader has read some other work by Stanton. And by precisely identifying your subject, you help to ease the reader into your essay.

Similarly, you won’t begin by writing,

The majority opinion in Walker v. City of Birmingham held that . . .

Rather, you’ll write something like this:

In Walker v. City of Birmingham, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in

1966 that city authorities acted lawfully when they jailed Martin

Luther King Jr. and other clergymen in 1963 for marching in

Birmingham without a permit. Justice Potter Stewart delivered the

majority opinion, which held that . . .

By the way, if you think you suffer from a writing block, the mere act of writing out such readily available facts will help you to get started. You will find that putting a few words down on paper, perhaps merely copying the essay’s title or an interesting quotation from the essay, will stimulate you to jot down thoughts that you didn’t know you had in you.

Here, again, are the questions about audience. If you write with a word processor, consider putting these questions into a file. For each assignment, copy (with the Copy command) the questions into the file you are currently working on, and then, as a way of generating ideas, enter your responses, indented, under each question.

• Who are my readers?

• What do they believe?

• What common ground do we share?

• What do I want my readers to believe?

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• What do they need to know?

• Why should they care?

Thinking about your audience can help you to put some words on paper; even more important, it can help you to get ideas. Our second and third questions about the audience (“What do they believe?” and “How much common ground do we share?”) will usually help you get ideas flowing.

• Presumably your imagined audience does not share your views, or at least does not fully share them. But why?

• How can these readers hold a position that to you seems unreasonable?

If you try to put yourself into your readers’ shoes — and in your essay you will almost surely summarize the views that you are going to speak against — and if you think about what your audi- ence knows or thinks it knows, you will find yourself getting ideas.

You do not believe (let’s assume) that people should be allowed to smoke in enclosed public places, but you know that some people hold a different view. Why do they hold it? Try to state their view in a way that would be satisfactory to them. Having done so, you may come to perceive that your conclusions and theirs differ because they are based on different premises, perhaps different ideas about human rights. Examine the opposition’s premises carefully, and explain, first to yourself and ultimately to your readers, why you find some premises unacceptable.

Possibly some facts are in dispute, such as whether nonsmokers may be harmed by exposure to tobacco. The thing to do, then, is to check the facts. If you find that harm to nonsmokers has not been proved, but you nevertheless believe that smoking should be pro- hibited in enclosed public places, of course you can’t premise your argument on the wrongfulness of harming the innocent (in this case, the nonsmokers). You will have to develop arguments that take account of the facts, whatever they are.

Among the relevant facts there surely are some that your audi- ence or your opponent will not dispute. The same is true of the val- ues relevant to the discussion; the two of you are very likely to agree, if you stop to think about it, that you share belief in some of the same values (such as the principle mentioned above, that it is wrong to harm the innocent). These areas of shared agreement are crucial to effective persuasion in argument.

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There are two good reasons why you should identify and iso- late the areas of agreement:

• There is no point in disputing facts or values on which you and your readers really agree.

• It usually helps to establish goodwill between you and your opponent when you can point to beliefs, assumptions, facts, and values that the two of you share.

In a few moments we will return to the need to share some of the opposition’s ideas.

Recall that in writing college papers it is usually best to write for a general audience, an audience rather like your classmates but without the specific knowledge that they all share as students enrolled in one course. If the topic is smoking in public places, the

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A RULE FOR WRITERS: If you wish to persuade, you’ll have to begin by finding premises you can share with your audience.

✓ A CHECKLIST FOR IMAGINING AN AUDIENCE Have I asked myself the following questions? � Who are my readers? � How much about the topic do they know? � Have I provided necessary background (including definitions of

special terms) if the imagined readers probably are not especially familiar with the topic?

� Are these imagined readers likely to be neutral? Sympathetic? Hostile?

� If they are neutral, have I offered good reasons to persuade them? If they are sympathetic, have I done more than merely reaffirm their present beliefs? That is, have I perhaps enriched their views or encouraged them to act? If they are hostile, have I taken account of their positions, recognized their strengths but also called attention to their limitations, and offered a position that may persuade these hostile readers to modify their position?

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audience presumably consists of smokers and nonsmokers. Thinking about our first question on page 159 — “What do [readers] need to know?” — may prompt you to give statistics about the harmful effects of smoking. Or if you are arguing on behalf of smokers, it may prompt you to cite studies claiming that no evidence conclu- sively demonstrates that cigarette smoking is harmful to nonsmok- ers. If indeed you are writing for a general audience and you are not advancing a highly unfamiliar view, our second question (“What does the audience believe?”) is less important here, but if the audi- ence is specialized, such as an antismoking group, a group of restau- rant owners who fear that antismoking regulations will interfere with their business, or a group of civil libertarians, an effective essay will have to address their special beliefs.

In addressing their beliefs (let’s assume that you do not share them or do not share them fully), you must try to establish some common ground. If you advocate requiring restaurants to provide nonsmoking areas, you should at least recognize the possibility that this arrangement will result in inconvenience for the propri- etor. But perhaps (the good news) the restaurant will regain some lost customers or will attract some new customers. This thought should prompt you to think of kinds of evidence, perhaps testi- mony or statistics.

When you formulate a thesis and ask questions about it, such as who the readers are, what do they believe, what do they know, and what do they need to know, you begin to get ideas about how to organize the material or at least to see that some sort of organi- zation will have to be worked out. The thesis may be clear and simple, but the reasons (the argument) may take many pages. The thesis is the point; the argument sets forth the evidence that is offered to support the thesis.

The Title It’s not a bad idea to announce your thesis in your title. If you scan the table of contents of this book, you will notice that a fair number of essayists use the title to let the readers know, at least in a very general way, what position will be advocated. Here are a few exam- ples of titles that take a position:

Gay Marriages: Make Them Legal

“Diversity” Is a Smoke Screen for Discrimination

Why Handguns Must Be Outlawed

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True, these titles are not especially engaging, but the reader welcomes them because they give some information about the writer’s thesis.

Some titles do not announce the thesis, but they at least announce the topic:

Is All Discrimination Unfair?

On Racist Speech

Why Make Divorce Easy?

Although not clever or witty, these titles are informative. Some titles seek to attract attention or to stimulate the imag-

ination:

A First Amendment Junkie

A Crime of Compassion

Addicted to Health

All of these are effective, but a word of caution is appropriate here. In your effort to engage your reader’s attention, be careful not to sound like a wise guy. You want to engage your readers, not turn them off.

Finally, be prepared to rethink your title after you have finished the last draft of your paper. A title somewhat different from your working title may be an improvement because the emphasis of your finished paper may have turned out to be rather different from what you expected when you first thought of a title.

The Opening Paragraphs Opening paragraphs are difficult to write, so don’t worry about writing an effective opening when you are drafting. Just get some words down on paper, and keep going. But when you revise your

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CALVIN AND HOBBES. © 1993 Bill Watterson. Reprinted with permission of Universal Press Syndicate. All rights reserved.

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first draft — really a zero draft — you probably should begin to think seriously about the effect of your opening.

A good introduction arouses the reader’s interest and helps prepare the reader for the rest of the paper. How? Opening para- graphs usually do at least one (and often all) of the following:

• Attract the reader’s interest (often with a bold statement of the thesis or with an interesting statistic, quotation, or anecdote),

• Prepare the reader’s mind by giving some idea of the topic and often of the thesis,

• Give the reader an idea of how the essay is organized, and

• Define a key term.

You may not wish to announce your thesis in your title, but if you don’t announce it there, you should set it forth early in the argument, in your introductory paragraph or paragraphs. In her title “Human Rights and Foreign Policy,” Jeanne J. Kirkpatrick merely announces her topic (subject) as opposed to her thesis (point), but she begins to hint at the thesis in her first paragraph, by deprecating President Jimmy Carter’s policy:

In this paper I deal with three broad subjects: first, the content and consequences of the Carter administration’s human rights policy; second, the prerequisites of a more adequate theory of human rights; and third, some characteristics of a more successful human rights policy.

Or consider this opening paragraph from Peter Singer’s “Animal Liberation”:

We are familiar with Black Liberation, Gay Liberation, and a variety of other movements. With Women’s Liberation some thought we had come to the end of the road. Discrimination on the basis of sex, it has been said, is the last form of discrimina- tion that is universally accepted and practiced without pretense, even in those liberal circles which have long prided themselves on their freedom from racial discrimination. But one should always be wary of talking of “the last remaining form of discrim- ination.” If we have learned anything from the liberation movements, we should have learned how difficult it is to be aware of the ways in which we discriminate until they are forcefully pointed out to us. A liberation movement demands an expansion of our moral horizons, so that practices that were previously regarded as natural and inevitable are now seen as intolerable.

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Although Singer’s introductory paragraph nowhere mentions ani- mal liberation, in conjunction with its title it gives us a good idea of what Singer is up to and where he is going. Singer knows that his audience will be skeptical, so he reminds them that many of us in previous years were skeptical of reforms that we now take for granted. He adopts a strategy used fairly often by writers who advance unconventional theses: Rather than beginning with a bold announcement of a thesis that may turn off some of his readers because it sounds offensive or absurd, Singer warms up his audi- ence, gaining their interest by cautioning them politely that although they may at first be skeptical of animal liberation, if they stay with his essay they may come to feel that they have expanded their horizons.

Notice, too, that Singer begins by establishing common ground with his readers; he assumes, probably correctly, that they share his view that other forms of discrimination (now seen to be unjust) were once widely practiced and were assumed to be acceptable and natural. In this paragraph, then, Singer is not only showing himself to be fair-minded but is also letting us know that he will advance a daring idea. His opening wins our attention and our goodwill. A writer can hardly hope to do more. (In a few pages we will talk a little more about winning the audience.)

In your introductory paragraphs,

• You may have to give some background information that your readers will need to keep in mind if they are to follow your essay.

• You may wish to define some terms that are unfamiliar or that you use in an unusual sense.

After announcing the topic, giving the necessary background, and stating your position (and perhaps the opposition’s) in as engaging a manner as possible, it is usually a good idea to give the reader an idea of how you will proceed — that is, what the organiza- tion will be. Look on page 163 at Kirkpatrick’s opening paragraph

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A RULE FOR WRITERS: In writing or at least in revising these paragraphs, keep in mind this question: What do my readers need to know? Remember, your aim throughout is to write reader-friendly prose, and keeping the needs and interests of your audience constantly in mind will help you achieve this goal.

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for an obvious illustration. She tells us she will deal with three sub- jects, and she names them. Her approach in the paragraph is con- cise, obvious, and effective.

Similarly, you may, for instance, want to announce fairly early that there are four common objections to your thesis and that you will take them up one by one, beginning with the weakest (or most widely held, or whatever) and moving to the strongest (or least familiar), after which you will advance your own view in greater detail. Not every argument begins with refuting the other side, though many arguments do. The point to remember is that you usually ought to tell your readers where you will be taking them and by what route.

Organizing and Revising the Body of the Essay We begin with a wise remark by a newspaper columnist, Robert Cromier: “The beautiful part of writing is that you don’t have to get it right the first time — unlike, say, a brain surgeon.”

In drafting your essay you will of course begin with an organi- zation that seems to you to make sense, but you may well find, in rereading the draft, that some other organization is better. Here, for a start, is an organization that is common in argumentative essays.

1. Statement of the problem 2. Statement of the structure of the essay 3. Statement of alternative solutions 4. Arguments in support of the proposed solution 5. Arguments answering possible objections 6. A summary, resolution, or conclusion

Let’s look at each of these six steps.

1. Statement of the problem Whether the problem is stated briefly or at length depends on the nature of the problem and the writer’s audience. If you haven’t already defined unfamiliar terms or terms you use in a special way, probably now is the time to do so. In any case, it is advisable here to state the problem objectively (thereby gaining the trust of the reader) and to indicate why the reader should care about the issue.

2. Statement of the structure of the essay After stating the problem at the appropriate length, the writer often briefly indicates the structure of the rest of the essay. The commonest structure is suggested below, in points 3 and 4.

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3. Statement of alternative (but less adequate) solutions In addition to stating the alternatives fairly, the writer probably conveys willingness to recognize not only the integrity of the proposals but also the (partial) merit of at least some of the alternative solutions.

The point made in the previous sentence is important and worth amplifying. Because it is important to convey your goodwill — your sense of fairness — to the reader, it is advisable to let your reader see that you are familiar with the opposition and that you recognize the integrity of those who hold that view. This you do by granting its merits as far as you can. (For more about this approach, see the essay by Carl R. Rogers on p. 343.)

The next stage, which constitutes most of the body of the essay, usually is this:

4. Arguments in support of the proposed solution The evidence offered will, of course, depend on the nature of the problem. Relevant statistics, authorities, examples, or analo- gies may come to mind or be available. This is usually the longest part of the essay.

5. Arguments answering possible objections These argu- ments may suggest that a. The proposal won’t work (perhaps it is alleged to be too

expensive, to make unrealistic demands on human nature, or to fail to get to the heart of the problem).

b. The proposed solution will create problems greater than the difficulty to be resolved. (A good example of a pro- posal that produced dreadful unexpected results is the law mandating a prison term for anyone over eighteen in pos- session of an illegal drug. Heroin dealers then began to use children as runners, and cocaine importers followed the practice. And while we are on the subject of children, con- sider this: Five states have statutes that allow the death penalty for adults who molest children. A chief argument against this penalty is that the molesters, having nothing further to lose, may kill their victims. A second argument is that victims of sex crimes by family members may be less likely to report the crimes. In your view, how valid are these arguments about unintended consequences?

6. A summary, resolution, or conclusion Here the writer may seek to accommodate the views of the opposition as far as possible but clearly suggest that the writer’s own position

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makes good sense. A conclusion — the word comes from the Latin claudere, “to shut” — ought to provide a sense of clo- sure, but it can be much more than a restatement of the writer’s thesis. It can, for instance, make a quiet emotional appeal by suggesting that the issue is important and that the ball is now in the reader’s court.

Of course not every essay will follow this six-step pattern, but let’s assume that in the introductory paragraphs you have sketched the topic (and have shown or nicely said, or implied, that the reader doubtless is interested in it) and have fairly and courteously set forth the opposition’s view, recognizing its merits (“I grant that,” “admittedly,” “it is true that”) and indicating the degree to which you can share part of that view. You now want to set forth your arguments explaining why you differ on some essentials.

In setting forth your own position, you can begin either with your strongest reasons or your weakest. Each method of organiza- tion has advantages and disadvantages.

• If you begin with your strongest, the essay may seem to peter out.

• If you begin with the weakest, you build to a climax, but your readers may not still be with you because they may have felt at the start that the essay was frivolous.

The solution to this last possibility is to make sure that even your weakest argument is an argument of some strength. You can, moreover, assure your readers that stronger points will soon be offered and you offer this point first only because you want to show that you are aware of it and that, slight though it is, it deserves some attention. The body of the essay, then, is devoted to arguing a position, which means offering not only supporting rea- sons but also refutations of possible objections to these reasons.

Doubtless you will sometimes be uncertain, as you draft your essay, whether to present a given point before or after another point. When you write, and certainly when you revise, try to put yourself into your reader’s shoes: Which point do you think the reader needs to know first? Which point leads to which further point? Your argument should not be a mere list of points, of course; rather, it should clearly integrate one point with another in order to develop an idea. But in all likelihood you won’t have a strong sense of the best organization until you have written a draft and have reread it.

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Checking Paragraphs When you revise your draft, watch out also for short paragraphs. Although a paragraph of only two or three sentences (like some in this chapter) may occasionally be helpful as a transition between complicated points, most short paragraphs are undeveloped paragraphs. (Newspaper editors favor very short para- graphs because they can be read rapidly when printed in the nar- row columns typical of newspapers. Many of the essays reprinted in this book originally were published in newspapers, hence they consist of very short paragraphs. There is no reason for you to imi- tate this style in the argumentative essays you will be writing.)

In revising, when you find a paragraph of only a sentence or two or three, check first to see if it should be joined to the para- graph that precedes or follows. Second, if on rereading you are cer- tain that a given paragraph should not be tied to what comes before or after, think about amplifying the paragraph with support- ing detail (this is not the same as mere padding).

Checking Transitions Make sure, too, in revising, that the reader can move easily from the beginning of a paragraph to the end and from one paragraph to the next. Transitions help the reader to per- ceive the connections between the units of the argument. For example (“For example” is a transition, of course, indicating that an illustration will follow), they may illustrate, establish a sequence, connect logically, amplify, compare, contrast, summarize, or con- cede (see Idea Prompt 6.1). Transitions serve as guideposts that enable your reader to move easily through your essay.

When writers revise an early draft, they chiefly

• Unify the essay by eliminating irrelevancies;

• Organize the essay by keeping in mind an imagined audience;

• Clarify the essay by fleshing out thin paragraphs, by making certain that the transitions are adequate, and by making cer- tain that generalizations are adequately supported by con- crete details and examples.

We are not talking about polish or elegance; we are talking about fundamental matters. Be especially careful not to abuse the

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A RULE FOR WRITERS: When you revise, make sure that your organization is clear to your readers.

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logical connectives (thus, as a result, and so on). If you write several sentences followed by therefore or a similar word or phrase, be sure that what you write after the therefore really does follow from what has gone before. Logical connectives are not mere transitional devices used to link disconnected bits of prose. They are supposed to mark a real movement of thought — the essence of an argument.

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IDEA PROMPT 6.1 USING TRANSITIONS IN ARGUMENT

Illustrate for example, for “Many television crime dramas instance, consider contain scenes of graphic this case violence. For example, in the

episode of Law and Order titled . . .”

Establish a a more important “A stronger example of the ways sequence objection, a stronger that TV violence is susceptible

example, the best to being mimicked is . . .” reason

Connect thus, as a result, “Therefore, the Federal logically therefore, so, it Communications Commission

follows ought to consider more carefully regulating what types of violence they allow on the air.”

Amplify further, in addition “Further, fines for networks that to, moreover violate these regulations should

be steeper because . . .”

Compare similarly, in a like “Just as the FCC regulates manner, just as, language and sexuality on analogously broadcast TV . . .”

Contrast on the other hand, “On the other hand, studies in contrast, have shown that violent however, but television . . .”

Summarize in short, briefly “In short, the basic premise of his argument is . . .”

Concede admittedly, granted, “Admittedly, there are many to be sure points on which the author is

correct.”

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A RULE FOR WRITERS: Emulate John Kenneth Galbraith, a distin- guished writer on economics. Galbraith said that in his fifth draft he introduced the note of spontaneity for which his writing was famous.

The Ending What about concluding paragraphs, in which you try to summarize the main points and reaffirm your position?

If you can look back over your essay and can add something that enriches it and at the same time wraps it up, fine, but don’t feel compelled to say, “Thus, in conclusion, I have argued X, Y, and Z, and I have refuted Jones.” After all, conclusion can have two meanings: (1) ending, or finish, as the ending of a joke or a novel; or (2) judgment or decision reached after deliberation. Your essay should finish effectively (the first sense), but it need not announce a judgment (the second).

If the essay is fairly short, so that a reader can more or less keep the whole thing in mind, you may not need to restate your view. Just make sure that you have covered the ground and that your last sentence is a good one. Notice that the student essay printed later in this chapter (p. 183) does not end with a formal conclusion, though it ends conclusively, with a note of finality.

By a note of finality we do not mean a triumphant crowing. It’s usually far better to end with the suggestion that you hope you have by now indicated why those who hold a different view may want to modify it and accept yours.

If you study the essays in this book, or, for that matter, the edi- torials and op-ed pieces in a newspaper, you will notice that writers often provide a sense of closure by using one of the following devices:

• A return to something in the introduction,

• A glance at the wider implications of the issue (for example, if smoking is restricted, other liberties are threatened),

• An anecdote that engagingly illustrates the thesis, or

• A brief summary (but this sort of ending may seem unneces- sary and even tedious, especially if the paper is short and if the summary merely repeats what has already been said).

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Two Uses of an Outline The Outline as a Preliminary Guide Some writers find it useful to sketch an outline as soon as they think they know what they want to say, even before they write a first draft. This procedure can be helpful in planning a tentative organization, but remember that in revising a draft new ideas will arise, and the outline may have to be modified. A preliminary outline is chiefly useful as a means of getting going, not as a guide to the final essay.

The Outline as a Way of Checking a Draft Whether or not you use a preliminary outline, we strongly suggest that after you have written what you hope is your last draft, you make an outline of it; there is no better way of finding out whether the essay is well organized.

Go through the draft and jot down the chief points in the order in which you make them. That is, prepare a table of contents — perhaps a phrase for each paragraph. Next, examine your jottings to see what kind of sequence they reveal in your paper:

• Is the sequence reasonable? Can it be improved?

• Are any passages irrelevant?

• Does something important seem to be missing?

If no coherent structure or reasonable sequence clearly appears in the outline, then the full prose version of your argument probably doesn’t have any either. Therefore, produce another draft, moving things around, adding or subtracting paragraphs — cutting and past- ing into a new sequence, with transitions as needed — and then make another outline to see if the sequence now is satisfactory.

You are probably familiar with the structure known as a for- mal outline. Major points are indicated by I, II, III; points within major points are indicated by A, B, C; divisions within A, B, C are indicated by 1, 2, 3; and so on. Thus,

I. Arguments for opening all Olympic sports to professionals A. Fairness

1. Some Olympic sports are already open to professionals. 2. Some athletes who really are not professionals are

classified as professionals. B. Quality (achievements would be higher)

You may want to outline your draft according to this principle, or it may be enough if you simply jot down a phrase for each paragraph and indent the subdivisions. But keep these points in mind:

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• It is not enough for the parts to be ordered reasonably.

• The order must be made clear to the reader, probably by means of transitions such as for instance, on the other hand, we can now turn to an opposing view, and so on.

Here is another way of thinking about an outline. For each paragraph, jot down

• What the paragraph says, and

• What the paragraph does.

An opening paragraph might be outlined thus:

• What the paragraph says is that the words “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance should be omitted.

• What the paragraph does is, first, it informs the reader of the thesis, and second, it provides some necessary background, for instance, that the words were not in the original wording of the Pledge.

A dual outline of this sort will help you to see whether you have a final draft or a draft that needs refinement.

Tone and the Writer’s Persona Although this book is chiefly about argument in the sense of rational discourse — the presentation of reasons in support of a the- sis or conclusion — the appeal to reason is only one form of persua- sion. Another form is the appeal to emotion — to pity, for example. Aristotle saw, in addition to the appeal to reason and the appeal to emotion, a third form of persuasion, the appeal to the character of the speaker. He called it the ethical appeal (the Greek word for this kind of appeal is ethos, “character”). The idea is that effective speakers convey the suggestion that they are

• Informed,

• Intelligent,

• Benevolent, and

• Honest.

Because they are perceived as trustworthy, their words inspire con- fidence in their listeners. It is, of course, a fact that when we read an argument we are often aware of the person or voice behind the words, and our assent to the argument depends partly on the

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extent to which we can share the speaker’s assumptions, look at the matter from the speaker’s point of view — in short, identify with this speaker.

How can a writer inspire the confidence that lets readers iden- tify themselves with the writer? To begin with, the writer should possess the virtues Aristotle specified: intelligence or good sense, honesty, and benevolence or goodwill. As the Roman proverb puts it, “No one gives what he does not have.” Still, possession of these qualities is not a guarantee that you will convey them in your writ- ing. Like all other writers, you will have to revise your drafts so that these qualities become apparent, or, stated more moderately, you will have to revise so that nothing in the essay causes a reader to doubt your intelligence, honesty, and goodwill. A blunder in logic, a misleading quotation, a snide remark, even an error in spelling — all such slips can cause readers to withdraw their sympa- thy from the writer.

But of course all good argumentative essays do not sound exactly alike; they do not all reveal the same speaker. Each writer develops his or her own voice or (as literary critics and teachers call it) persona. In fact, one writer will have several voices or personae, depending on the topic and the audience. The president of the United States delivering an address on the State of the Union has one persona; chatting with a reporter at his summer home he has another. This change is not a matter of hypocrisy. Different circumstances call for different language. As a French writer put it, there is a time to speak of “Paris” and a time to speak of “the capital of the nation.” When Lincoln spoke at Gettysburg, he didn’t say “Eighty-seven years ago,” but “Four score and seven years ago.” We might say that just as some occa- sions required him to be the folksy Honest Abe, the occasion of the dedication of hallowed ground required him to be formal and solemn, and so the president of the United States appropriately used biblical language. The election campaigns called for one per- sona, and the dedication of a military cemetery called for a differ- ent persona.

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A RULE FOR WRITERS: Present yourself so that your readers see you as knowledgeable, honest, open-minded, and interested in helping them to think about an issue of significance.

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When we talk about a writer’s persona, we mean the way in which the writer presents his or her attitudes

• Toward the self,

• Toward the audience, and

• Toward the subject.

Thus, if a writer says,

I have thought long and hard about this subject, and I can say with assurance that . . .

we may feel that we are listening to a self-satisfied ass who proba- bly is simply mouthing other people’s opinions. Certainly he is mouthing clichés: “long and hard,” “say with assurance.”

Let’s look at a slightly subtler example of an utterance that reveals an attitude. When we read that

President Nixon was hounded out of office by journalists,

we hear a respectful attitude toward Nixon (“President Nixon”) and a hostile attitude toward the press (they are beasts, curs who “hounded” our elected leader). If the writer’s attitudes were reversed, she might have said something like this:

The press turned the searchlight on Tricky Dick’s criminal shenanigans.

“Tricky Dick” and “criminal” are obvious enough, but notice that “shenanigans” also implies the writer’s contempt for Nixon, and of course, “turned the searchlight” suggests that the press is a source of illumination, a source of truth. The original version and the opposite version both say that the press was responsible for Nixon’s resigna- tion, but the original version (“President Nixon was hounded”) con- veys indignation toward journalists, whereas the revision conveys contempt for Nixon.

These two versions suggest two speakers who differ not only in their view of Nixon but also in their manner, including the serious- ness with which they take themselves. Although the passage is very short, it seems to us that the first speaker conveys righteous indigna- tion (“hounded”), whereas the second conveys amused contempt (“shenanigans”). To our ears the tone, as well as the point, differs in the two versions.

We are talking about loaded words, words that convey the writer’s attitude and that by their connotations are meant to win

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the reader to the writer’s side. Compare the words in the left-hand column with those in the right:

freedom fighter terrorist pro-choice pro-abortion pro-life antichoice economic refugee illegal alien terrorist-surveillance domestic spying

The words in the left-hand column sound like good things; speak- ers who use these words are seeking to establish themselves as virtuous people who are supporting worthy causes. The conno- tations (associations, overtones) of these pairs of words differ, even though the denotations (explicit meanings, dictionary def- initions) are the same, just as the connotations of mother and female parent differ, although the denotations are the same. Similarly, although Lincoln’s “four score and seven” and “eighty- seven” both denote “thirteen less than one hundred,” they differ in connotation.

Tone is not only a matter of connotations (hounded out of office versus, let’s say, compelled to resign, or pro-choice versus pro-abortion); it is also a matter of such things as the selection and type of exam- ples. A writer who offers many examples, especially ones drawn from ordinary life, conveys a persona different from that of a writer who offers no examples or only an occasional invented instance. The first of these probably is, one might say, friendlier, more down- to-earth.

Last Words on Tone On the whole, when writing an argument, it is advisable to be courteous and respectful of your topic, of your audi- ence, and of people who hold views you are arguing against. It is rarely good for one’s own intellectual development to regard as vil- lains or fools persons who hold views different from one’s own, espe- cially if some of them are in the audience. Keep in mind the story of the two strangers on a train who, striking up a conversation, found that both were clergymen, though of different faiths. Then one said to the other, “Well, why shouldn’t we be friends? After all, we both serve God, you in your way and I in His.”

Complacency is all right when telling a joke but not when offering an argument:

• Recognize opposing views.

• Assume they are held in good faith.

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• State them fairly (if you don’t, you do a disservice not only to the opposition but also to your own position because the perceptive reader will not take you seriously).

• Be temperate in arguing your own position: “If I understand their view correctly . . .”; “It seems reasonable to conclude that . . .”; “Perhaps, then, we can agree that . . .”

We, One, or I ? The use of we in the last sentence brings us to another point: May the first-person pronouns I and we be used? In this book, because two of us are writing, we often use we to mean the two authors. And we sometimes use we to mean the authors and the readers, as in phrases like the one that ends the previous paragraph. This shift- ing use of one word can be troublesome, but we hope (clearly the we here refers only to the authors) that we have avoided any ambi- guity. But can, or should, or must, an individual use we instead of I? The short answer is no.

If you are simply speaking for yourself, use I. Attempts to avoid the first-person singular by saying things like “This writer thinks . . . ,” and “It is thought that . . . ,” and “One thinks that . . . ,” are far more irritating (and wordy) than the use of I. The so-called editorial we is as odd-sounding in a student’s argument as is the royal we. Mark Twain said that the only ones who can appropri- ately say we are kings, editors, and people with a tapeworm. And because one one leads to another, making the sentence sound (James Thurber’s words) “like a trombone solo,” it’s best to admit that you are the author, and to use I. But there is no need to pref- ace every sentence with “I think.” The reader knows that the essay is yours; just write it, using I when you must, but not needlessly.

Avoiding Sexist Language Courtesy as well as common sense requires that you respect the feelings of your readers. Many people today find offensive the implicit sexism in the use of male pronouns to denote not only men but also women (“As the reader follows the argument, he will find . . .”). And sometimes the use of the male pronoun to denote all people is ridiculous: “An individual, no matter what his sex, . . .”

In most contexts there is no need to use gender-specific nouns or pronouns. One way to avoid using he when you mean any per- son is to use he or she (or she or he) instead of he, but the result is

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sometimes a bit cumbersome — although it is superior to the overly conspicuous he/she and to s/he.

Here are two simple ways to solve the problem:

• Use the plural (“As readers follow the argument, they will find . . .”), or

• Recast the sentence so that no pronoun is required (“Readers following the argument will find . . .”).

Because man and mankind strike many readers as sexist when used in such expressions as “Man is a rational animal” and “Mankind has not yet solved this problem,” consider using such words as human being, person, people, humanity, and we. (Examples: “Human beings are rational animals”; “We have not yet solved this problem.”)

PLANNING, DRAFTING, AND REVISING AN ARGUMENT 177

✓ A CHECKLIST FOR ATTENDING TO THE NEEDS OF THE AUDIENCE

� Do I have a sense of what the audience probably knows about the issue?

� Do I have a sense of what the audience probably thinks about the issue?

� Have I stated the thesis clearly and sufficiently early in the essay?

� How much common ground do we probably share? � Have I, in the paper, tried to establish common ground and

then moved on to advance my position? � Have I supported my arguments with sufficient details? � Have I used the appropriate language (for instance, defined

terms that are likely to be unfamiliar)? � Have I indicated why my readers should care about the issue

and should accept or at least take seriously my views? � Is the organization clear? � Have I used transitions where they are needed? � If visual material (charts, graphs, pictures) will enhance my

arguments, have I used them? � Have I presented myself as a person who is (a) fair, (b)

informed, and (c) worth listening to?

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PEER REVIEW

Your instructor may suggest — or may even require — that you sub- mit an early draft of your essay to a fellow student or small group of students for comment. Such a procedure benefits both author and readers: You get the responses of a reader and the student- reader gets experience in thinking about the problems of develop- ing an argument, especially in thinking about such matters as the degree of detail that a writer needs to offer to a reader and the importance of keeping the organization evident to a reader.

Oral peer reviews allow for the give and take of discussion, but probably most students and most instructors find written peer reviews more helpful because reviewers think more carefully about their responses to the draft, and they help essayists to get beyond a knee-jerk response to criticism. Online reviews on a class Web site or through e-mail are especially helpful precisely because they are not face to face; the peer reviewer gets practice writing, and the essayist is not directly challenged.

A STUDENT’S ESSAY, FROM ROUGH NOTES TO FINAL VERSION

While we were revising this textbook, we asked the students in one of our classes to write a short essay (500–750 words) on some ethical problem that concerned them. Because this assignment was the first writing assignment in the course, we explained that a good way to get ideas is to ask oneself some questions, jot down responses, ques- tion those responses, and write freely for ten minutes or so, not wor- rying about contradictions. We invited our students to hand in their initial jottings along with the finished essay, so that we could get a sense of how they proceeded as writers. Not all of them chose to hand in their jottings, but we were greatly encouraged by those who did. What was encouraging was the confirmation of an old belief, the belief — we call it a fact — that students will hand in a thoughtful essay if before they prepare a final version they nag themselves, ask themselves why they think this or that, jot down their responses, and are not afraid to change their minds as they proceed.

Here are the first jottings of a student, Emily Andrews, who elected to write about whether to give money to street beggars. She simply put down ideas, one after the other.

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A STUDENT’S ESSAY, FROM ROUGH NOTES TO FINAL VERSION 179

✓ A PEER REVIEW CHECKLIST FOR A DRAFT OF AN ARGUMENT

Read the draft through quickly. Then read it again, with the following questions in mind. Remember: You are reading a draft, a work in progress. You are expected to offer suggestions, and it is also expected that you will offer them courteously. � Does the draft show promise of fulfilling the assignment? � Is the writer’s tone appropriate? � Looking at the essay as a whole, what thesis (main idea) is

advanced? � Are the needs of the audience kept in mind? For instance, do

some words need to be defined? Is the evidence (for instance, the examples and the testimony of authorities) clear and effective?

� Can I accept the assumptions? If not, why not? � Is any obvious evidence (or counterevidence) overlooked? � Is the writer proposing a solution? If so,

� Are other equally attractive solutions adequately examined? � Has the writer overlooked some unattractive effects of the

proposed solution? � Looking at each paragraph separately,

� What is the basic point? � How does each paragraph relate to the essay’s main idea

or to the previous paragraph? � Should some paragraphs be deleted? Be divided into two or

more paragraphs? Be combined? Be put elsewhere? (If you outline the essay by jotting down the gist of each paragraph, you will get help in answering these questions.)

� Is each sentence clearly related to the sentence that precedes and to the sentence that follows?

� Is each paragraph adequately developed? Are there sufficient details, perhaps brief supporting quotations from the text?

� Are the introductory and concluding paragraphs effective? � What are the paper’s chief strengths? � Make at least two specific suggestions that you think will assist

the author to improve the paper.

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Help the poor? Why do I (sometimes) do it?

I feel guilty, and think I should help them: poor, cold, hungry (but

also some of them are thirsty for liquor, and will spend the money

on liquor, not on food).

I also feel annoyed by them — most of them.

Where does the expression “the deserving poor” come from?

And “poor but honest”? Actually, that sounds a bit odd. Wouldn’t

“rich but honest” make more sense?

Why don’t they work? Fellow with red beard, always by bus stop in

front of florist’s shop, always wants a handout. He is a regular,

there all day every day, so I guess he is in a way “reliable,” so why

doesn’t he put the same time in on a job?

Or why don’t they get help? Don’t they know they need it? They

must know they need it.

Maybe that guy with the beard is just a con artist. Maybe he makes

more money by panhandling than he would by working, and it’s a

lot easier!

Kinds of poor — how to classify??

drunks, druggies, etc.

mentally ill (maybe drunks belong here too)

decent people who have had terrible luck

Why private charity?

Doesn’t it make sense to say we (fortunate individuals) should give

something — an occasional handout — to people who have had

terrible luck? (I suppose some people might say that there is no

need for any of us to give anything — the government takes care of

the truly needy — but I do believe in giving charity. A month ago a

friend of the family passed away, and the woman’s children sug-

gested that people might want to make a donation in her name, to

a shelter for battered women. I know my parents made a donation.)

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BUT how can I tell who is who, which are which? Which of these

people asking for “spare change” really need (deserve???) help, and

which are phonies? Impossible to tell.

Possibilities:

Give to no one

Give to no one but make an annual donation, maybe to

United Way

Give a dollar to each person who asks. This would probably

not cost me even a dollar a day

Occasionally do without something — maybe a CD — or a meal

in a restaurant — and give the money I save to people who

seem worthy.

WORTHY? What am I saying? How can I, or anyone, tell? The neat-

looking guy who says he just lost his job may be a phony, and the

dirty bum — probably a drunk — may desperately need food. (OK,

so what if he spends the money on liquor instead of food? At least

he’ll get a little pleasure in life. No! It’s not all right if he spends it

on drink.)

Other possibilities:

Do some volunteer work?

To tell the truth, I don’t want to put in the time. I don’t feel

that guilty.

So what’s the problem?

Is it, How I can help the very poor (handouts, or through an orga-

nization)? or

How I can feel less guilty about being lucky enough to be able to

go to college, and to have a supportive family?

I can’t quite bring myself to believe I should help every beggar

who approaches, but I also can’t bring myself to believe that I

should do nothing, on the grounds that:

a. it’s probably their fault

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b. if they are deserving, they can get gov’t help. No, I just

can’t believe that. Maybe some are too proud to look for

government help, or don’t know that they are entitled to it.

What to do?

On balance, it seems best to

a. give to United Way

b. maybe also give to an occasional individual, if I happen to

be moved, without worrying about whether he or she is

“deserving” (since it’s probably impossible to know).

A day after making these notes Emily reviewed them, added a few points, and then made a very brief selection from them to serve as an outline for her first draft:

Opening para.: “poor but honest”? Deserve “spare change”?

Charity: private or through organizations?

pros and cons

guy at bus

it wouldn’t cost me much, but . . . better to give through

organizations

Concluding para.: still feel guilty?

maybe mention guy at bus again?

After writing and revising a draft, Emily Andrews submitted her essay to a fellow student for peer review. She then revised her work in light of the suggestions she received and in light of her own further thinking.

On the next page we give the final essay. If after reading the final version you reread the early jottings, you will notice that some of the jottings never made it into the final version. But without the jottings, the essay probably could not have been as interesting as it is. When the writer made the jottings, she was not so much putting down her ideas as finding ideas by the process of writing.

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Emily Andrews

Professor Barnet

English 102

January 15, 2010

Why I Don’t Spare “Spare Change”

“Poor but honest.” “The deserving poor.” I don’t know

the origin of these quotations, but they always come to mind

when I think of “the poor.” But I also think of people who,

perhaps through alcohol or drugs, have ruined not only their

own lives but also the lives of others in order to indulge in

their own pleasure. Perhaps alcoholism and drug addiction

really are “diseases,” as many people say, but my own

feeling — based, of course, not on any serious study — is that

most alcoholics and drug addicts can be classified with the

“undeserving poor.” And that is largely why I don’t distribute

spare change to panhandlers.

But surely among the street people there are also some

who can rightly be called “deserving.” Deserving what? My

spare change? Or simply the government’s assistance? It

happens that I have been brought up to believe that it is

appropriate to make contributions to charity — let’s say a

shelter for battered women — but if I give some change to a

panhandler, am I making a contribution to charity and thereby

helping someone, or, on the contrary, am I perhaps simply

encouraging someone not to get help? Or maybe even worse,

am I supporting a con artist?

If one believes in the value of private charity, one can

give either to needy individuals or to charitable organizations.

Andrews 1

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In giving to a panhandler one may indeed be helping a person

who badly needs help, but one cannot be certain that one is

giving to a needy individual. In giving to an organization such

as the United Way, on the other hand, one can feel that one’s

money is likely to be used wisely. True, confronted by a beggar

one may feel that this particular unfortunate individual needs

help at this moment — a cup of coffee or a sandwich — and the

need will not be met unless I put my hand in my pocket right

now. But I have come to think that the beggars whom

I encounter can get along without my spare change, and indeed

perhaps they are actually better off for not having money to

buy liquor or drugs.

It happens that in my neighborhood I encounter few

panhandlers. There is one fellow who is always by the bus stop

where I catch the bus to the college, and I never give him

anything precisely because he is always there. He is such a

regular that, I think, he ought to be able to hold a regular job.

Putting him aside, I probably don’t encounter more than three

or four beggars in a week. (I’m not counting street musicians.

These people seem quite able to work for a living. If they see

their “work” as playing or singing, let persons who enjoy their

performances pay them. I do not consider myself among their

audience.) The truth of the matter is that, since I meet so few

beggars, I could give each one a dollar and hardly feel the loss.

At most, I might go without seeing a movie some week. But I

know nothing about these people, and it’s my impression —

admittedly based on almost no evidence — that they simply

prefer begging to working. I am not generalizing about street

Andrews 2

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people, and certainly I am not talking about street people in the

big urban centers. I am talking only about the people whom I

actually encounter.

That’s why I usually do not give “spare change,” and I

don’t think I will in the future. These people will get along

without me. Someone else will come up with money for their

coffee or their liquor, or, at worst, they will just have to do

without. I will continue to contribute occasionally to a charitable

organization, not simply (I hope) to salve my conscience but

because I believe that these organizations actually do good work.

But I will not attempt to be a mini-charitable organization,

distributing (probably to the unworthy) spare change.

Andrews 3

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THE ESSAY ANALYZED

Finally, here are a few comments about the essay: The title is informative, alerting the reader to the topic and the

author’s position. (By the way, the student told us that in her next- to-last draft the title was “Is It Right to Spare ‘Spare Change’?” This title, like the revision, introduces the topic but not the author’s posi- tion. The revised version seems to us to be more striking.)

The opening paragraph holds a reader’s interest, partly by allud- ing to the familiar phrase “the deserving poor” and partly by intro- ducing the unfamiliar phrase “the undeserving poor.” Notice, too, that this opening paragraph ends by clearly asserting the author’s thesis. Of course, writers need not always announce their thesis early, but it is usually advisable to do so. Readers like to know where they are going.

Paragraph two begins by voicing what probably is the reader’s somewhat uneasy — perhaps even negative — response to the first paragraph. That is, the writer has a sense of her audience; she knows how her reader feels, and she takes account of the feeling.

Paragraph three clearly sets forth the alternatives. A reader may disagree with the writer’s attitude, but the alternatives seem to be stated fairly.

Paragraphs four and five are more personal than the earlier para- graphs. The writer, more or less having stated what she takes to be the facts, now is entitled to offer a highly personal response to them.

The final paragraph nicely wraps things up by means of the words “spare change,” which go back to the title and to the end of the first paragraph. The reader thus experiences a sensation of com- pleteness. The essayist, of course, has not solved the problem for all of us for all time, but she presents a thoughtful argument and ends the essay effectively.

EXERCISE

In an essay of 500 words, state a claim and support it with evi- dence. Choose an issue in which you are genuinely interested and about which you already know something. You may want to inter- view a few experts and do some reading, but don’t try to write a highly researched paper. Sample topics:

1. Students in laboratory courses should not be required to participate in the dissection of animals.

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2. Washington, D.C., should be granted statehood. 3. Puerto Rico should be granted statehood. 4. Women should, in wartime, be exempted from serving in combat. 5. The annual Miss America contest is an insult to women. 6. The government should not offer financial support to the arts. 7. The chief fault of the curriculum in high school was . . . 8. Grades should be abolished in college and university courses. 9. No specific courses should be required in colleges or universities.