aca- demic discourse or academic argument

Left to right: Imaginechina via AP Images; AP/Invision/Charles Sykes; © Javier Larrea/age fotostock

Academic Arguments 17

Much of the writing you will do in college (and some of what you will no doubt do later in your professional work) is generally referred to as aca- demic discourse or academic argument. Although this kind of writing has many distinctive features, in general it shares these characteristics:

● It is based on research and uses evidence that can be documented.

● It is written for a professional, academic, or school audience likely to know something about its topic.

● It makes a clear and compelling point in a fairly formal, clear, and sometimes technical style.

● It follows agreed-upon conventions of format, usage, and punctuation.

● It is documented, using some professional citation style.

Academic writing is serious work, the kind you are expected to do when- ever you are assigned a term essay, research paper, or capstone project. Manasi Deshpande’s proposal “A Call to Improve Campus Accessibility”

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in Chapter 12 is an example of an academic argument of the kind you may write in college. You will find other examples of such work through- out this book.

Understanding What Academic Argument Is

Academic argument covers a wide range of writing, but its hallmarks are an appeal to reason and a faith in research. As a consequence, such arguments cannot be composed quickly, casually, or off the top of one’s head. They require careful reading, accurate reporting, and a conscien- tious commitment to truth. But academic pieces do not tune out all appeals to ethos or emotion: today, we know that these arguments often convey power and authority through their impressive lists of sources and their immediacy. But an academic argument crumbles if its facts are skewed or its content proves to be unreliable.

Look, for example, how systematically Susannah Fox and Lee Rainie, director and codirector of the Pew Internet Project, present facts and evi- dence in arguing that the Internet has been, overall, a big plus for society and individuals alike.

[Today,] 87% of American adults now use the Internet, with near- saturation usage among those living in households earning $75,000 or more (99%), young adults ages 18–29 (97%), and those with college degrees (97%). Fully 68% of adults connect to the Internet with mobile devices like smartphones or tablet computers.

The adoption of related technologies has also been extraordinary: Over the course of Pew Research Center polling, adult ownership of cell phones has risen from 53% in our first survey in 2000 to 90% now. Ownership of smartphones has grown from 35% when we first asked in 2011 to 58% now.

Impact: Asked for their overall judgment about the impact of the Internet, toting up all the pluses and minuses of connected life, the public’s verdict is overwhelmingly positive: 90% of Internet users say the Internet has been a good thing for them personally and only 6% say it has been a bad thing, while 3% volunteer that it has been some of both. 76% of Internet users say the Internet has been a good thing for society, while 15% say it has been a bad thing and 8% say it has been equally good and bad.

— Susannah Fox and Lee Rainie, “The Web at 25 in the U.S.”

Note, too, that these writers draw their material from research and polls conducted by the Pew Research Center, a well-known and respected

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organization. Chances are you immediately recognize that this para- graph is an example of a researched academic argument.

You can also identify academic argument by the way it addresses its audiences. Some academic writing is clearly aimed at specialists in a field who are familiar with both the subject and the terminology that surrounds it. As a result, the researchers make few concessions to general readers unlikely to encounter or appreciate their work. You see that single-mindedness in this abstract of an article about migraine headaches in a scientific journal: it quickly becomes unreadable to nonspecialists.

Abstract

Migraine is a complex, disabling disorder of the brain that manifests itself as attacks of often severe, throbbing head pain with sensory sen- sitivity to light, sound and head movement. There is a clear familial tendency to migraine, which has been well defined in a rare autoso- mal dominant form of familial hemiplegic migraine (FHM). FHM muta- tions so far identified include those in CACNA1A (P/Q voltage-gated Ca(2+) channel), ATP1A2 (N(+)-K(+)-ATPase) and SCN1A (Na(+) chan- nel) genes. Physiological studies in humans and studies of the experi- mental correlate — cortical spreading depression (CSD) — provide understanding of aura, and have explored in recent years the effect of migraine preventives in CSD. . . .

— Peter J. Goadsby, “Recent Advances in Understanding Migraine Mechanisms, Molecules, and Therapeutics,”

Trends in Molecular Medicine (January 2007)

Yet this very article might later provide data for a more accessible argu- ment in a magazine such as Scientific American, which addresses a broader (though no less serious) readership. Here’s a selection from an article on migraine headaches from that more widely read journal (see also the infographic on p. 382):

At the moment, only a few drugs can prevent migraine. All of them were developed for other diseases, including hypertension, depression and epilepsy. Because they are not specific to migraine, it will come as no surprise that they work in only 50 percent of patients — and, in them, only 50 percent of the time — and induce a range of side effects, some potentially serious.

Recent research on the mechanism of these antihypertensive, anti- epileptic and antidepressant drugs has demonstrated that one of their effects is to inhibit cortical spreading depression. The drugs’ ability to prevent migraine with and without aura therefore supports the school

Nicholas Ostler’s conference paper

“Is It Globalization That Endangers

Languages?” meets the criteria listed

here for academic argument and

provides a potential model for your

own writing.

LINK TO P. 589

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of thought that cortical spreading depression contributes to both kinds of attacks. Using this observation as a starting point, investiga- tors have come up with novel drugs that specifically inhibit cortical spreading depression. Those drugs are now being tested in migraine sufferers with and without aura. They work by preventing gap junc- tions, a form of ion channel, from opening, thereby halting the flow of calcium between brain cells.

— David W. Dodick and J. Jay Gargus, “Why Migraines Strike,” Scientific American (August 2008)

Such writing still requires attention, but it delivers important and com- prehensible information to any reader seriously interested in the subject and the latest research on it.

Infographic: The Root of Migraine Pain © Tolpa Studios, Inc.

Even when academic writing is less technical and demanding, its style will retain a degree of formality. In academic arguments, the focus is on the subject or topic rather than the authors, the tone is straightfor- ward, the language is largely unadorned, and all the i’s are dotted and t’s crossed. Here’s an abstract for an academic paper written by a scholar of communications on the Burning Man phenomenon, demonstrating those qualities:

Every August for more than a decade, thousands of information tech- nologists and other knowledge workers have trekked out into a barren

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stretch of alkali desert and built a temporary city devoted to art, tech- nology, and communal living: Burning Man. Drawing on extensive archival research, participant observation, and interviews, this paper explores the ways that Burning Man’s bohemian ethos supports new forms of production emerging in Silicon Valley and especially at Google. It shows how elements of the Burning Man world — including the build- ing of a socio-technical commons, participation in project-based artistic labor, and the fusion of social and professional interaction — help shape and legitimate the collaborative manufacturing processes driving the growth of Google and other firms. The paper thus develops the notion that Burning Man serves as a key cultural infrastructure for the Bay Area’s new media industries.

— Fred Turner, “Burning Man at Google: A Cultural Infrastructure for New Media Production”

You might imagine a different and far livelier way to tell a story about the annual Burning Man gathering in Nevada, but this piece respects the conventions of its academic field.

Another way you likely identify academic writing — especially in term papers or research projects — is by the way it draws upon sources and builds arguments from research done by experts and reported in journal articles and books. Using an evenhanded tone and dealing with all points of view fairly, such writing brings together multiple voices and

A scene from Burning Man Mike Nelson/AFP/Getty Images

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intriguing ideas. You can see these moves in just one paragraph from a heavily documented student essay examining the comedy of Chris Rock:

The breadth of passionate debate that [Chris] Rock’s comedy elicits from intellectuals is evidence enough that he is advancing discussion of the foibles of black America, but Rock continually insists that he has no political aims: “Really, really at the end of the day, the only important thing is being funny. I don’t go out of my way to be politi- cal” (qtd. in Bogosian 58). His unwillingness to view himself as a black leader triggers Justin Driver to say, “[Rock] wants to be caustic and he wants to be loved” (32). Even supporters wistfully sigh, “One wishes Rock would own up to the fact that he’s a damned astute social critic” (Kamp 7).

— Jack Chung, “The Burden of Laughter: Chris Rock Fights Ignorance His Way”

Readers can quickly tell that author Jack Chung has read widely and thought carefully about how to support his argument.

As you can see even from these brief examples, academic arguments cover a broad range of topics and appear in a variety of media — as a brief note in a journal like Nature, for example, a poster session at a con- ference on linguistics, a short paper in Physical Review Letters, a full research report in microbiology, or an undergraduate honors thesis in history. What do all these projects have in common? One professor we know defines academic argument as “carefully structured research,” and that seems to us to be a pretty good definition.

Conventions in Academic Argument Are Not Static.

Far from it. In fact, the rise of new technologies and the role that blogs, wikis, social media sites, and other digital discourses play in all our lives are affecting academic writing as well. Thus, scholars today are pushing the envelope of traditional academic writing in some fields. Physicians, for example, are using narrative (rather than charts) more often in medi- cine to communicate effectively with other medical personnel. Profes- sional journals now sometimes feature serious scholarly work in new formats — such as comics (as in legal scholar Jamie Boyle’s work on intel- lectual property, or Nick Sousanis’s Columbia University PhD disserta- tion, which is entirely in comic form). And student writers are increasingly producing serious academic arguments using a wide vari- ety of modalities, including sound, still and moving images, and more.

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Developing an Academic Argument

In your first years of college, the academic arguments you make will probably include the features and qualities we’ve discussed above — and which you see demonstrated in the sample academic arguments at the end of this chapter. In addition, you can make a strong academic argu- ment by following some time-tested techniques.

Choose a topic you want to explore in depth. Unless you are assigned a topic (and remember that even assigned topics can be tweaked to match your interests), look for a subject that intrigues you — one you want to learn more about. One of the hardest parts of producing an academic argument is finding a topic narrow enough to be manageable in the time you have to work on it but also rich enough to sustain your interest over the same period. Talk with friends about possible topics and explain to them why you’d like to pursue research on this issue. Look through your Twitter feeds and social network postings to identify themes or topics that leap out as compelling. Browse through books and articles that interest you, make a list of potential subjects, and then zero in on one or two top choices.

Get to know the conversation surrounding your topic. Once you’ve chosen a topic, expect to do even more reading and browsing — a lot more. Familiarize yourself with what’s been said about your subject and espe- cially with the controversies that currently surround it. Where do schol- ars agree, and where do they disagree? What key issues seem to be at stake? You can start by exploring the Internet, using key terms that are associated with your topic. But you may be better off searching the more specialized databases at your library with the assistance of a librarian who can help you narrow your search and make it more efficient. Library databases will also give you access to materials not available via Google or other online search engines — including, for example, full-text ver- sions of journal articles. For much more on identifying appropriate sources, see Chapter 18, “Finding Evidence.”

Assess what you know and what you need to know. As you read about your topic and discuss it with others, keep notes on what you have learned, including what you already know about it. Such notes should soon reveal where the gaps are in your knowledge. For instance, you may discover a need to learn about legal issues and thus end up doing research in a law school library. Or perhaps talking with experts about your topic might be

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helpful. Instructors on your campus may have the knowledge you need, so explore your school’s Web site to find faculty or staff to talk with. Make an appointment to visit them during office hours and bring the sorts of questions to your meeting that show you’ve done basic work on the subject. And remember that experts are now only a click away: a student we know, working on Internet privacy concerns, wrote a brief message to one of the top scholars in the field asking for help with two particular questions — and got a response within two days!

Come up with a claim about your topic. The chapters in Part 2, “Writing Arguments,” offer instruction in formulating thesis statements, which most academic arguments must have. Chapters 8–12, in particular, explain how to craft claims tailored to individual projects ranging from arguments of fact to proposals. Remember here, though, that good claims are controversial. After all, you don’t want to debate something that everyone already agrees upon or accepts.

In addition, your claim needs to say something consequential about that important or controversial topic and be supported with strong evi- dence and good reasons (see Chapter 18). Here, for example, is the claim that student Charlotte Geaghan-Breiner makes after observing the alien- ation of today’s children from the natural world and arguing for the redesign of schoolyards that invite children to interact with nature: “As a formative geography of childhood, the schoolyard serves as the perfect place to address nature deficit disorder.” Charlotte develops her claim and supports it with evidence about the physical, psychological, aca- demic, and social benefits of interacting with the natural world. She includes images illustrating the contrast between traditional school- yards and “biophilic,” or nature-oriented, schoolyards and establishes guidelines for creating natural play landscapes. (See Charlotte’s complete essay, reprinted at the end of this chapter.)

Consider your rhetorical stance and purpose. Once you have a claim, ask yourself where you stand with respect to your topic and how you want to represent yourself to those reading your argument:

● You may take the stance of a reporter: you review what has been said about the topic; analyze and evaluate contributions to the conversa- tion surrounding it; synthesize the most important strands of that conversation; and finally draw conclusions based on them.

● You may see yourself primarily as a critic: you intend to point out the problems and mistakes associated with some view of your topic.

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● You may prefer the role of an advocate: you present research that strongly supports a particular view on your topic.

Whatever your perspective, remember that in academic arguments you want to come across as fair and evenhanded, especially when you play the advocate. Your stance will always be closely tied to your purpose, which in most of your college writing will be at least twofold: to do the best job in fulfilling an assignment for a course and to support the claim you are making to the fullest extent possible. Luckily, these two purposes work well together.

Think about your audience(s). Here again, you will often find that you have at least two audiences — and maybe more. First, you will be writing to your instructor, so take careful notes when the assignment is given and, if possible, set up a conference to nail down your teacher’s expecta- tions: what will it take to convince this audience that you have done a terrific job of writing an academic argument? Beyond your instructor, you should also think of your classmates as an audience — informed, intelligent peers who will be interested in what you have to say. Again, what do you know about these readers, and what will they expect from your project?

Finally, consider yet another important audience — people who are already discussing your topic. These will include the authors whose work you have read and the larger academic community of which they are now a part. If your work appears online or in some other medium, you will reach more people than you initially expect, and most if not all of them will be unknown to you. As a result, you need to think carefully about the various ways your argument could be read — or misread — and plan accordingly.

Concentrate on the material you are gathering. Any academic argument is only as good as the evidence it presents to support its claims. Give each major piece of evidence (say, a lengthy article that addresses your sub- ject directly) careful scrutiny:

● Summarize its main points.

● Analyze how those points are pertinent.

● Evaluate the quality of the supporting evidence.

● Synthesize the results of your analysis and evaluation.

● Summarize what you think about the article.

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In other words, test each piece of evidence and then decide which to keep — and which to throw out. But do not gather only materials that favor your take on the topic. You want, instead, to look at all legitimate perspectives on your claim, and in doing so, you may even change your mind. That’s what good research for an academic argument can do: remember the “conscientious commitment to truth” we mentioned ear- lier? Keep yourself open to discovery and change. (See Chapter 19, “Eval- uating Sources,” and Chapter 20, “Using Sources.”)

Give visual and nonprint materials the same scrutiny you would to print sources, since these days you will likely be gathering or creating such materials in many fields. Remember that the graphic representa- tion of data always involves an interpretation of that material: numbers can lie and pictures distort. (For more information on evaluating visuals, see Chapter 14.) In addition, infographics today often make complex academic arguments in a visual form. (See p. 164 for one such example.)

Take special care with documentation. As you gather materials for your academic argument, record where you found each source so that you can cite it accurately. For print sources, develop a working bibliography either on your computer or in a notebook you can carry with you. For each book, write the name of the author, the title of the book, the city of publication, the publisher, the date of publication, and the place that you found it (the section of the library, for example, and the call number for the book). For each print article, write the name of the author, the title of the article, the title of the periodical, and the volume, issue, publication date, and exact page numbers. Include any other information you may later need in preparing a works cited list or references list.

For electronic sources, keep a careful record of the information you’ll need in a works cited list or references list. Write the author and title information, the name of the database or other online site where you found the source, the full URL, the date the document was first pro- duced, the date it was published on the Web or most recently updated, and the date you accessed and examined it. The simplest way to ensure that you have this information is to print a copy of the source, highlight source information, and write down any other pertinent information.

Remember, too, that different academic fields use different systems of documentation, so if your instructor has not recommended a style of documentation to you, ask in class about it. Scholars have developed these systems over long periods of time to make research in an area reliable and routine. Using documentation responsibly shows that you

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understand the conventions of your field or major and that you have paid your dues, thereby establishing your position as a member of the academic community. (For more detailed information, see Chapter 22, “Documenting Sources.”)

Think about organization. As you review the research materials you have gathered, you are actually beginning the work of drafting and designing your project. Study the way those materials are organized, especially any from professional journals, whether print or digital. You may need to include in your own argument some of the sections or fea- tures you find in professional research:

● Does the article open with an abstract, summarizing its content?

● Does the article give any information about the author or authors and their credentials?

● Is there a formal introduction to the subject or a clear statement of a thesis or hypothesis?

● Does the article begin with a “review of literature,” summarizing recent research on its topic?

● Does the piece describe its methods of research?

● How does the article report its results and findings?

● Does the article use charts and graphs or other visuals to report data?

● Does the piece use headings and subheadings?

● How does the work summarize its findings or how does it make recommendations?

● Does the essay offer a list of works cited or references?

Anticipate some variance in the way materials are presented from one academic field to another.

As you organize your own project, check with your instructor to see if there is a recommended pattern for you to follow. If not, create a scratch outline or storyboard to describe how your essay will proceed. In review- ing your evidence, decide which pieces support specific points in the argument. Then try to position your strongest pieces of evidence in key places — near the beginning of paragraphs, at the end of the introduc- tion, or toward a powerful conclusion. In addition, strive to achieve a balance between, on the one hand, your own words and argument and, on the other hand, the sources that you use or quote in support of the argument. The sources of evidence are important supports, but they

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shouldn’t overpower the structure of your argument itself. Finally, remember that your organization needs to take into account the place- ment of visuals — charts, tables, photographs, and so on. (For specific advice on structuring arguments, review the “Thinking about Organiza- tion” sections in the “Guides to Writing” for Chapters 8–12.)

Consider style and tone. Most academic argument adopts the voice of a reasonable, fair-minded, and careful thinker who is interested in coming as close to the truth about a topic as possible. A style that achieves that tone may have some of the following features:

● It strives for clarity and directness, though it may use jargon appro- priate to a particular field.

● It favors denotative rather than connotative language.

● It is usually impersonal, using first person (I) sparingly.

● In some fields, it may use the passive voice routinely.

● It uses technical language, symbols, and abbreviations for efficiency.

● It avoids colloquialisms, slang, and sometimes even contractions.

The examples at the end of this chapter demonstrate traditional aca- demic style, though there is, as always, a range of possibilities in its manner of expression.

Consider genre, design, and visuals. Most college academic arguments look more like articles in professional journals than like those one might find in a glossier periodical like Scientific American — that is, they are still usually black on white, use a traditional font size and type (like 11-point Times New Roman), and lack any conscious design other than inserted tables or figures. But such conventions are changing.

Indeed, student writers today can go well beyond print, creating digi- tal documents that integrate a variety of media and array data in strik- ingly original ways. But always consider what genres best suit your topic, purpose, and audience and then act accordingly. As you think about the design possibilities for your academic argument, you may want to con- sult your instructor — and to test your ideas and innovations on friends or classmates.

In choosing visuals to include in your argument, be sure each one makes a strong contribution to your message and is appropriate and fair to your topic and your audience. Treat visuals as you would any other sources and integrate them into your text. Like quotations, paraphrases, and summaries, visuals need to be introduced and commented on in

The Trouble with Diversity: How

We Learned to Love Identity and

Ignore Inequality by Walter Benn

Michaels exemplifies a clear and

direct academic style. Even though

the author makes a complex

argument, addressing a broad and

difficult issue, his writing remains

straightforward and readable.

LINK TO P. 725

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some way. In addition, label and number (“Figure 1,” “Table 2,” and so on) each visual, provide a caption that includes source information and describes the visual, and cite the source in your references page or works cited list. Even if you create a visual (such as a bar graph) by using infor- mation from a source (the results, say, of a Gallup poll), you must cite the source. If you use a photograph you took yourself, cite it as a personal photograph.

Reflect on your draft and get responses. As with any important piece of writing, an academic argument calls for careful reflection on your draft. You may want to do a “reverse outline” to test whether a reader can pull a logical and consistent pattern out of the paragraphs or sections you have written. In addition, you can also judge the effectiveness of your overall argument, assessing what each paragraph contributes and what may be missing. Turning a critical eye to your own work at the draft stage

This bar chart, based on data from a Sandler Training survey of 1,053 adults, would be listed in your works cited or references under the authors’ names. Data from Sandler Training survey of 1,053 adults.

0

10

20

30

40

50

Boss Clients/ Customers

Significant other

Colleagues Parents

25

20

15 13

8

Who’s the most difficult to “sell yourself” to?

Pe rc

en ta

ge

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can save much grief in the long run. Be sure to get some response from classmates and friends too: come up with a set of questions to ask them about your draft and push them for honest responses. Find out what in your draft is confusing or unclear to others, what needs further evidence, and so on.

Edit and proofread your text. Proofread an academic argument at least three times. First review it for ideas, making sure that all your main points and supporting evidence make sense and fit nicely together. Give special attention to transitions and paragraph structure and the way you have arranged information, positioned headings, and captioned graphic items. Make sure the big picture is in focus.

Then read the text word by word to check spelling, punctuation, quo- tation marks, apostrophes, abbreviations — in short, all the details that can go wrong simply because of a slip in attention. To keep their focus at this level, some readers will even read an entire text backwards. Notice too where your computer’s spelling and grammar checkers may be underlining particular words and phrases. Don’t ignore these clear signals.

Finally, check that every source mentioned in the academic argument appears in the works cited or references list and that every citation is correct. This is also the time to make any final touchups to your overall design. Remember that how the document looks is part of what estab- lishes its credibility.

R E S P O N D. 1. Look closely at the following five passages, each of which is from an

opening of a published work, and decide which ones provide examples of academic argument. How would you describe each one, and what are its key features? Which is the most formal and academic? Which is the least? How might you revise them to make them more — or less — academic?

During the Old Stone Age, between thirty-seven thousand and eleven thousand years ago, some of the most remarkable art ever conceived was etched or painted on the walls of caves in southern France and northern Spain. After a visit to Lascaux, in the Dordogne, which was discovered in 1940, Picasso reportedly said to his guide, “They’ve invented everything.” What those first artists invented was a language of signs for which there will never be a Rosetta stone; perspective, a technique that was not redis- covered until the Athenian Golden Age; and a bestiary of such vitality and finesse that, by the flicker of torchlight, the animals seem to surge

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from the walls, and move across them like figures in a magic-lantern show (in that sense, the artists invented animation). They also thought up the grease lamp — a lump of fat, with a plant wick, placed in a hollow stone — to light their workplace; scaffolds to reach high places; the prin- ciples of stenciling and Pointillism; powdered colors, brushes, and stumping cloths; and, more to the point of Picasso’s insight, the very con- cept of an image. A true artist reimagines that concept with every blank canvas — but not from a void.

— Judith Thurman, “First Impressions,” The New Yorker

I stepped over the curb and into the street to hitchhike. At the age of ten I’d put some pretty serious mileage on my thumb. And I knew how it was done. Hold your thumb up, not down by your hip as though you didn’t much give a damn whether you got a ride or not. Always hitch at a place where a driver could pull out of traffic and give you time to get in without risking somebody tailgating him.

— Harry Crews, “On Hitchhiking,” Harper’s

Coral reef ecosystems are essential marine environments around the world. Host to thousands (and perhaps millions) of diverse organisms, they are also vital to the economic well-being of an estimated 0.5 billion people, or 8% of the world’s population who live on tropical coasts (Hoegh-Guldberg 1999). Income from tourism and fishing industries, for instance, is essential to the economic prosperity of many countries, and the various plant and animal species present in reef ecosystems are sources for different natural products and medicines. The degrada- tion of coral reefs can therefore have a devastating impact on coastal populations, and it is estimated that between 50% and 70% of all reefs around the world are currently threatened (Hoegh-Guldberg). Anthro- pogenic influences are cited as the major cause of this degradation, including sewage, sedimentation, direct trampling of reefs, over-fishing of herbivorous fish, and even global warming (Umezawa et al. 2002; Jones et al. 2001; Smith et al. 2001).

— Elizabeth Derse, “Identifying the Sources of Nitrogen to Hanalei Bay, Kauai, Utilizing the Nitrogen Isotope Signature

of Macroalgae,” Stanford Undergraduate Research Journal

While there’s a good deal known about invertebrate neurobiology, these facts alone haven’t settled questions of their sentience. On the one hand, invertebrates lack a cortex, amygdala, as well as many of the other major brain structures routinely implicated in human emotion. And unsurpris- ingly, their nervous systems are quite minimalist compared to ours: we have roughly a hundred thousand bee brains worth of neurons in our heads. On the other hand, some invertebrates, including insects, do pos- sess the rudiments of our stress response system. So the question is still on the table: do they experience emotion in a way that we would recog- nize, or just react to the world with a set of glorified reflexes?

— Jason Castro, “Do Bees Have Feelings?” Scientific American

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Bambi’s mother, shot. Nemo’s mother, eaten by a barracuda. Lilo’s mother, killed in a car crash. Koda’s mother in Brother Bear, speared. Po’s mother in Kung Fu Panda 2, done in by a power-crazed peacock. Ariel’s mother in the third Little Mermaid, crushed by a pirate ship. Human baby’s mother in Ice Age, chased by a saber-toothed tiger over a waterfall. . . . The mothers in these movies are either gone or useless. And the father figures? To die for!

— Sarah Boxer, “Why Are All the Cartoon Mothers Dead?” The Atlantic

2. Working with another student in your class, find examples from two or three different fields of academic arguments that strike you as being well written and effective. Spend some time looking closely at them. Do they exemplify the key features of academic arguments dis- cussed in this chapter? What other features do they use? How are they organized? What kind of tone do the writers use? What use do they make of visuals? Draw up a brief report on your findings (a list will do), and bring it to class for discussion.

3. Read the following three paragraphs, and then list changes that the writer might make to convert them into an academic argument:

The book — the physical paper book — is being circled by a shoal of sharks, with sales down 9 percent this year alone. It’s being chewed by the e-book. It’s being gored by the death of the bookshop and the library. And most importantly, the mental space it occupied is being eroded by the thousand Weapons of Mass Distraction that surround us all. It’s hard to admit, but we all sense it: it is becoming almost physically harder to read books.

In his gorgeous little book The Lost Art of Reading — Why Books Matter in a Distracted Time, the critic David Ulin admits to a strange feeling. All his life, he had taken reading as for granted as eating — but then, a few years ago, he “became aware, in an apartment full of books, that I could no longer find within myself the quiet necessary to read.” He would sit down to do it at night, as he always had, and read a few paragraphs, then find his mind was wandering, imploring him to check his email, or Twitter, or Facebook. “What I’m struggling with,” he writes, “is the encroachment of the buzz, the sense that there’s something out there that merits my attention.”

I think most of us have this sense today, if we are honest. If you read a book with your laptop thrumming on the other side of the room, it can be like trying to read in the middle of a party, where everyone is shouting to each other. To read, you need to slow down. You need men- tal silence except for the words. That’s getting harder to find.

— Johann Hari, “How to Survive the Age of Distraction”

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4. Choose two pieces of your college writing, and examine them closely. Are they examples of strong academic writing? How do they use the key features that this chapter identifies as characteristic of academic arguments? How do they use and document sources? What kind of tone do you establish in each? After studying the examples in this chapter, what might you change about these pieces of writing, and why?

5. Go to a blog that you follow, or check out one on the Huffington Post or Ricochet. Spend some time reading the articles or postings on the blog, and look for ones that you think are the best written and the most interesting. What features or characteristics of academic argument do they use, and which ones do they avoid?

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Where the Wild Things Should Be: Healing Nature Deficit Disorder through the Schoolyard

CHARLOTTE GEAGHAN-BREINER

The developed world deprives children of a basic and inalienable right: unstructured outdoor play. Children today have substantially less access to nature, less free range, and less time for independent play than previous generations had. Experts in a wide variety of fields cite the rise of technology, urbanization, parental over- scheduling, fears of stranger-danger, and increased traf- fic as culprits. In 2005 journalist Richard Louv articulated the causes and consequences of children’s alienation from nature, dubbing it “nature deficit disorder.” Louv is not alone in claiming that the widening divide between children and nature has distressing health repercus- sions, from obesity and attention disorders to depression and decreased cognitive functioning. The dialogue sur- rounding nature deficit disorder deserves the attention and action of educators, health professionals, parents, developers, environmentalists, and conservationists alike.

The most practical solution to this staggering rift between children and nature involves the schoolyard. The schoolyard habitat movement, which promotes the “greening” of school grounds, is quickly gaining interna- tional recognition and legitimacy. A host of organiza- tions, including the National Wildlife Federation, the American Forest Foundation, and the Council for Envi- ronmental Education, as well as their international counterparts, have committed themselves to this cause. However, while many recognize the need for “greened

Title begins with a reference many readers will recognize (Sendak) and then points to the direction the argument will take.

Background information introduces a claim that states an effect and traces it back to its various causes.

Considerable evidence supports the claim.

Presents a solu- tion to the problem and foreshadows full thesis

Two Sample Academic Arguments

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Charlotte Geaghan-Breiner wrote this academic argument for her first-year writing class at Stanford University.

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school grounds,” not many describe such landscapes beyond using adjectives such as “lush,” “green,” and “nat- ural.” The literature thus lacks a coherent research-based proposal that both asserts the power of “natural” school grounds and delineates what such grounds might look like.

My research strives to fill in this gap. I advocate for the schoolyard as the perfect place to address nature deficit disorder, demonstrate the benefits of greened schoolyards, and establish the tenets of natural school- yard design in order to further the movement and inspire future action.

Asphalt Deserts: The State of the Schoolyard Today

As a formative geography of childhood, the schoolyard serves as the perfect place to address nature deficit dis- order. Historian Peter Stearns argues that modern child- hood was transformed when schooling replaced work as the child’s main social function (1041). In this contempo- rary context, the schoolyard emerges as a critical setting for children’s learning and play. Furthermore, as parental traffic and safety concerns increasingly constrain chil- dren’s free range outside of school, the schoolyard remains a safe haven, a protected outdoor space just for children.

Despite the schoolyard’s major significance in chil- dren’s lives, the vast majority of schoolyards fail to meet children’s needs. An outdated theoretical framework is partially to blame. In his 1890 Principles of Psychology, psy- chologist Herbert Spencer championed the “surplus energy theory”: play’s primary function, according to Spencer, was to burn off extra energy (White). Play, how- ever, contributes to the social, cognitive, emotional, and physical growth of the child (Hart 136); “[l]etting off steam” is only one of play’s myriad functions. Spencer’s theory thus constitutes a serious oversimplification, but it still continues to inform the design of children’s play areas.

The author identifies a weakness in the proposed solution.

Ending para- graph of the introduction presents the full thesis and outlines the entire essay.

Author uses subheads to help guide readers through the argument.

Explains why it’s valuable to focus on the schoolyard

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Most US playgrounds conform to an equipment-based model constructed implicitly on Spencer’s surplus energy theory (Frost and Klein 2). The sports fields, asphalt courts, swing sets, and jungle gyms common to schoolyards relegate nature to the sidelines and priori- tize gross motor play at the expense of dramatic play or exploration. An eight-year-old in England says it best: “The space outside feels boring. There’s nothing to do. You get bored with just a square of tarmac” (Titman 42). Such an environment does not afford children the chance to graduate to new, more complex challenges as they develop. While play equipment still deserves a spot in the schoolyard, equipment-dominated playscapes leave the growing child bereft of stimulating interactions with the environment.

Also to blame for the failure of school grounds to meet children’s needs are educators’ and developers’ adult-centric aims. Most urban schoolyards are sterile environments with low biodiversity (see fig. 1). While concrete, asphalt, and synthetic turf may be easier to maintain and supervise, they exacerbate the “extinction

Quotations by children provide evidence to support the claim and bring in a personal touch. Note that the writer is following MLA style for in-text citations.

Presents reasons why schoolyards continue to be poorly designed

Fig. 1: Addison Elementary in Palo Alto, CA, conforms to the traditional playground model, dominated by synthetic landcover and equipment. Photo by Charlotte Geaghan-Breiner

Note that the figure is intro- duced in the text and has a caption.

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of experience,” a term that Pyle has used to describe the disappearance of children’s embodied, intuitive experi- ences in nature. Asphalt deserts are major instigators of this “cycle of impoverishment” (Pyle 312). Loss of biodi- versity begets environmental apathy, which in turn allows the process of extinction to persist. Furthermore, adults’ preference for manicured, landscaped grounds does little to enhance children’s creative outdoor play. Instead of rich, stimulating play environments for chil- dren, such highly ordered schoolyards are constructed with adults’ convenience in mind.

The Greener, the Better: The Benefits of Greened School Grounds

A great body of research documents the physiological, cognitive, psychological, and social benefits of contact with nature. Health experts champion outdoor play as an antidote to two major trends in children of the developed world: the Attention Deficit Disorder and obesity epi- demics. A 2001 study by Taylor, Kuo, and Sullivan indi- cates that green play settings decrease the severity of symptoms in children with ADD. They also combat inac- tivity in children by diversifying the “play repertoire” and providing for a wider range of physical activity than tra- ditional playgrounds. In the war against childhood obe- sity, health advocates must add the natural schoolyard to their arsenal.

The schoolyard also has the ability to influence the way children play. Instead of being prescribed a play structure with a clear purpose (e.g., a swing set), children in natural schoolyards must discover the affordances of their environment — they must imagine what could be. In general, children exhibit more prosocial behavior and higher levels of inclusion in the natural schoolyard (Dyment 31). A 2006 questionnaire-based study of a greening initiative in Toronto found that the naturaliza- tion of the school grounds yielded a decrease in aggres- sive actions and disciplinary problems and a

Author cites research that discusses the health benefits of interacting with nature.

Social benefits of interacting with nature

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corresponding increase in civility and cooperation (Dyment 28). The greened schoolyard offers benefits beyond physical and mental health; it shapes the charac- ter and quality of children’s play interactions.

The schoolyard also has the potential to shape the relationship between children and the natural world. In the essay “Eden in a Vacant Lot,” Pyle laments the loss of vacant lots and undeveloped spaces in which children can play and develop intimacy with the land. However, Pyle overlooks the geography of schoolyards, which can serve as enclaves of nature in an increasingly urbanized and developed world. Research has shown that school ground naturalization fosters nature literacy and inti- macy just as Pyle’s vacant lots do. For instance, a school ground greening program in Toronto dramatically enhanced children’s environmental awareness, sense of stewardship, and curiosity about their local ecosystem (Dyment 37). When integrated with nature, the school- yard can mitigate the effects of nature deficit disorder and reawaken children’s innate biophilia, or love of nature.

Biophilic Design: Establishing the Tenets of Natural Schoolyard Design

The need for naturalized schoolyards is urgent. But how might theory actually translate into reality? Here I will propose four principles of biophilic schoolyard design, or landscaping that aims to integrate nature and natural systems into the man-made geography of the schoolyard.

The first is biodiversity. Schools should strive to incor- porate a wide range of greenery and wildlife on their grounds (see fig. 2). Native plants should figure promi- nently so as to inspire children’s interest in their local habitats. Inclusion of wildlife in school grounds can fos- ter meaningful interactions with other species. Certain plants and flowers, for example, attract birds, butterflies, and other insects; aquatic areas can house fish, frogs,

The author establishes four guidelines for redesigning schoolyards.

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tadpoles, and pond bugs. School pets and small-scale farms also serve to teach children important lessons about responsibility, respect, and compassion for ani- mals. Biodiversity, the most vital feature of biophilic design, transforms former “asphalt deserts” into realms teeming with life.

The second principle that schoolyard designers should keep in mind is sensory stimulation. The greater the degree of sensory richness in an environment, the more opportunities it affords the child to imagine, learn, and discover. School grounds should feature a range of colors, textures, sounds, fragrances, and in the case of the garden, tastes. Such sensory diversity almost always accompanies natural environments, unlike concrete, which affords comparatively little sensory stimulation.

Diversity of topography constitutes another dimen- sion of a greened schoolyard (Fjortoft and Sageie 83). The best school grounds afford children a range of places to climb, tunnel, frolic, and sit. Natural elements function as “play equipment”: children can sit on stumps, jump over logs, swing on trees, roll down grassy mounds, and climb on boulders. The playscape should also offer nooks

Fig. 2: A seating area at Ohlone School in Palo Alto, CA, features a healthy range of plant species. Photo by Charlotte Geaghan-Breiner

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and crannies for children to seek shelter and refuge. While asphalt lots and play structures are still fun for children, they should not dominate the school grounds (see fig. 3).

Last but not least, naturalized schoolyards must embody the theory of loose parts proposed by architect Simon Nicholson. “In any environment,” he writes, “both the degree of inventiveness and the possibility of discov- ery are directly proportional to the number and kinds of variables in it” (qtd. in Louv 87). Loose parts — sand, water, leaves, nuts, seeds, rocks, and sticks — are abundant in the natural world. The detachability of loose parts makes them ideal for children’s construction projects.

A figure illus- trates a specific point about play structures.

Fig. 3: Peninsula School in Menlo Park, CA, has integrated traditional equipment, such as a playhouse and slide, into the natural setting. Photo by Charlotte Geaghan-Breiner

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While some might worry about the possible hazards of loose parts, conventional play equipment is far from safe: more than 200,000 of children’s emergency room visits every year in the United States are linked to these built structures (Frost 217). When integrated into the schoolyard through naturalization, loose parts offer the child the chance to gain ever-increasing mastery of the environment.

The four tenets proposed provide a concrete basis for the application of biophilic design to the schoolyard. Such design also requires a frame-shift away from adult preferences for well-manicured grounds and towards children’s needs for wilder spaces that can be con- structed, manipulated, and changed through play (Lester and Maudsley 67; White and Stoecklin). Schoolyards designed according to the precepts of biodiversity, sen- sory stimulation, diversity of topography, and loose parts will go a long way in healing the rift between children and nature, a rift that adult-centric design only widens.

Grounds for Change

In conclusion, I have shown that natural schoolyard design can heal nature deficit disorder by restoring free outdoor play to children’s lives in the developed world. Successful biophilic schoolyards challenge the conven- tional notion that natural and man-made landscapes are mutually exclusive. Human-designed environments, and especially those for children, should strive to integrate nature into the landscape. All schools should be designed with the four tenets of natural schoolyard design in mind.

Though such sweeping change may seem impractical given limitations on school budgets, greening initiatives that use natural elements, minimal equipment, and vol- unteer work can be remarkably cost-effective. Peninsula School in Menlo Park, California, has minimized mainte- nance costs through the inclusion of hardy native spe- cies; it is essentially “designed for neglect” (Dyment 44).

Author restates her claim.

Offers examples of successful biophilic school- yard design

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Gardens and small-scale school farms can also become their own source of funding, as they have for Ohlone Ele- mentary School in Palo Alto, California. Ultimately, the cognitive, psychological, physiological, and social bene- fits of natural school grounds are priceless. In the words of author Richard Louv, “School isn’t supposed to be a polite form of incarceration, but a portal to the wider world” (Louv 226). With this in mind, let the schoolyard restore to children their exquisite intimacy with nature: their inheritance, their right.

Works Cited

Dyment, Janet. “Gaining Ground: The Power and Potential of School Ground Greening in the Toronto District School Board.” Evergreen, 2006. Web. 8 May 2012.

Fjortoft, Ingunn, and Jostein Sageie. “The Natural Environ- ment as a Playground for Children.” Landscape and Urban Planning 48.1/2 (2000): 83–97. Web. 28 May 2012.

Frost, Joe L. Play and Playscapes. Albany, NY: Delmar, 1992. Print.

Frost, Joe L., and Barry L. Klein. Children’s Play and Playgrounds. Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 1979. Print.

Hart, Roger. “Containing Children: Some Lessons on Plan- ning for Play from New York City.” Environment and Urban- ization 14.2 (2002): 135–48. Web. 28 May 2012.

Lester, Stuart, and Martin Maudsley. Play, Naturally: A Review of Children’s Natural Play. London: Play England, National Children’s Bureau, 2007. Print.

Louv, Richard. Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder. Chapel Hill, NC: Algonquin of Chapel Hill, 2005. Print.

Nicholson, S. “How Not to Cheat Children: The Theory of Loose Parts.” Landscape Architecture 62 (1971): 30–35. Chil- dren, Youth, and Environments. Web. 28 May 2012.

Pyle, Robert M. “Eden in a Vacant Lot: Special Places, Species, and Kids in the Neighborhood of Life.” Children and Nature: Psychological, Sociocultural, and Evolutionary Investigations. Ed. Peter H. Kahn and Stephen R. Kellert. Cambridge, MA: MIT, 2002. 305–27. Print.

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Stearns, Peter N. “Conclusion: Change, Globalization and Childhood.” Journal of Social History 38.4 (2005): 1041–46. Print.

Taylor, Andrea F., Frances E. Kuo, and William C. Sullivan. “Coping with ADD: The Surprising Connection to Green Play Settings.” Environment and Behavior 33.1 (2001): 54–77. Print.

Titman, Wendy. Special Places; Special People: The Hidden Cur- riculum of Schoolgrounds. Surrey, England: World Wide Fund for Nature, 1994. Web. 8 May 2012.

White, Randy. “Young Children’s Relationship with Nature: Its Importance to Children’s Development & the Earth’s Future.” Taproot 16.2 (2006). White Hutchinson Leisure and Learning Group. Web. 28 May 2012.

White, Randy, and Vicki Stoecklin. “Children’s Outdoor Play & Learning Environments: Returning to Nature.” Early Child- hood News Mar. 1998. White Hutchinson Leisure and Learning Group. Web. 28 May 2012.

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China: The Prizes and Pitfalls of Progress

LAN XUE

Abstract

Pushes to globalize science must not threaten local innovations in devel- oping countries, argues Lan Xue.

Developing countries such as China and India have emerged both as sig- nificant players in the production of high-tech products and as important contributors to the production of ideas and global knowledge. China’s

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GrAI/Shutterstock

This article was written by Lan Xue, a faculty member in the School of Public Policy and Management and the director of the China Institute for Science and Technology Policy, both at Tsinghua University in Beijing, China. It was published in the online edition of Nature in July 2008.

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rapid ascent as a broker rather than simply a consumer of ideas and inno- vation has made those in the “developed” world anxious. A 2007 report by UK think tank Demos says that “U.S. and European pre-eminence in science-based innovation cannot be taken for granted. The centre of grav- ity for innovation is starting to shift from west to east.”1

But the rapid increase in research and development spending in China — of the order of 20% per year since 1999 — does not guarantee a place as an innovation leader. Participation in global science in developing countries such as China is certainly good news for the global scientific community. It offers new opportunities for collaboration, fresh perspec- tives, and a new market for ideas. It also presents serious challenges for the management of innovation in those countries. A major discovery in the lab does not guarantee a star product in the market. And for a country in development, the application of knowledge in productive activities and the related social transformations are probably more important than the production of the knowledge itself. By gumming the works in information dissemination, by misplacing priorities, and by disavowing research that, although valuable, doesn’t fit the tenets of modern Western science, developing countries may falter in their efforts to become innovation leaders.

Vicious Circle

China’s scientific publications (measured by articles recorded in the Web of Science) in 1994 were around 10,000, accounting for a little more than 1% of the world total. By 2006, the publications from China rose to more than 70,000, increasing sevenfold in 12 years and accounting for almost 6% of the world total (see graph, next page). In certain technical areas, the growth has been more dramatic. China has been among the leading coun- tries in nanotechnology research, for example, producing a volume of publications second only to that of the United States.

The publish-or-perish mentality that has arisen in China, with its focus on Western journals, has unintended implications that threaten to obviate the roughly 8,000 national scientific journals published in Chi- nese. Scientists in developing countries such as China and India pride themselves on publishing articles in journals listed in the Science Citation Index (SCI) and the Social Science Citation Index (SSCI) lists. In some top- tier research institutions in China, SCI journals have become the required outlet for research.

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A biologist who recently returned to China from the United States was told by her colleague at the research institute in the prestigious Chinese Academy of Sciences (CAS) that publications in Chinese journals don’t really count toward tenure or promotion. Moreover, the institute values only those SCI journals with high impact factors. Unfortunately, the over- whelming majority of the journals in SCI and SSCI lists are published in developed countries in English or other European languages. The lan- guage requirement and the high costs of these journals mean that few researchers in China will have regular access to the content. Thus as China spends more and publishes more, the results will become harder to find for Chinese users. This trend could have a devastating impact on the

Nature Publishing Group. Illustration by D. Parkins.

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local scientific publications and hurt China’s ability to apply newly devel- oped knowledge in an economically useful way.

Several members of the CAS expressed their concerns on this issue recently at the 14th CAS conference in Beijing. According to Molin Ge, a theoretical physicist at the Chern Institute of Mathematics, Nankai Uni- versity, Tianjin, as more high-quality submissions are sent to overseas journals, the quality of submissions to local Chinese journals declines, which lowers the impact of the local Chinese journals. This becomes a vicious circle because the lower the impact, the less likely these local jour- nals are to get high-quality submissions.2

Setting Agendas

Research priorities in developing countries may be very different from those in developed nations, but as science becomes more globalized, so too do priorities. At the national level, developing countries’ research pri- orities increasingly resemble those of the developed nations, partly as a result of international competitive pressures. For example, after the United States announced its National Nanotechnology Initiative (NNI) in 2001, Japan and nations in Europe followed suit, as did South Korea, China, India, and Singapore. According to a 2004 report by the European Union,3 public investment in nanotechnology had increased from €400 million (U.S. $630 million) in 1997 to more than €3 billion in 2004.

Part of the pressure to jump on the international bandwagon comes from researchers themselves. Scientists in the developing world maintain communications with those elsewhere. It is only natural that they want to share the attention that their colleagues in the developed Western world and Japan are receiving by pursuing the same hot topics. The research is exciting, fast-moving, and often easier to publish. At the same time, there are many other crucial challenges to be met in developing countries. For example, public health, water and food security, and environmental protec- tion all beg for attention and resources. If people perceive these research areas as less intellectually challenging and rewarding, the issues will fail to receive the resources, support, and recognition they require. Without better agenda-setting practices, the scientific community will continue to face stinging criticism. It can send a satellite to Mars but not solve the most basic problems that threaten millions of lives in the developing world.

The introduction of Western scientific ideals to the developing world can generate an environment that is hostile to the indigenous research

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that prima facie does not fit those ideals. The confrontation between Western medicine and traditional Chinese medicine dates back to the early days of the twentieth century when Western medicine was first introduced in China. The debate reached a peak last year when a famous actress, Xiaoxu Chen, died from breast cancer. She allegedly insisted on treatment by Chinese traditional medicine, raising the hackles of some who claimed it to be worthless. Many Chinese still support traditional medicine and say that the dominance of Western medicine risks endan- gering China’s scientific and cultural legacy.

A similar row erupted around earthquake prediction. In the 1960s and 1970s, China set up a network of popular earthquake-prediction stations, using simple instruments and local knowledge. For the most part, the net- work was decommissioned as China built the modern earthquake- monitoring system run by the China Earthquake Administration. When the system failed to predict the recent Sichuan earthquake, several people claimed that non-mainstream approaches had predicted its imminence. Scientists in the agency have tended to brush off such unofficial and indi- vidual predictions. To many this seems arrogant and bureaucratic.

It would be foolish and impossible to stop the globalization of science. There are tremendous benefits to science enterprises in different coun- tries being integrated into a global whole. One should never think of turn- ing back the clock. At the same time, it is possible to take some practical steps to minimize the harmful effects of this trend on local innovation.

Prioritizing for the People

First of all, there is a need to re-examine the governance of global science in recognition of the changing international geography of science. Many international norms and standards should be more open and accommo- dating to the changing environment in developing countries. For example, there is a need to re-evaluate the SCI and SSCI list of journals to include quality journals in the developing countries. In the long run, the relevant scientific community could also think about establishing an international panel to make decisions on the selection of journals for these indices, given their important influence. The recent move by Thomson Reuters, the parent company of ISI, to expand its coverage of the SCI list by adding 700 regional academic journals is a step in the right direction.4

English has become the de facto global language of science. Developing countries should invest in public institutions to provide translation

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services so that global scientific progress can be disseminated quickly. Developing countries can learn from Japan, a world leader in collecting scientific information and making it available to the public in the local language. At the same time, there should also be international institu- tions to provide similar services to the global science community so that “results and the knowledge generated through research should be freely accessible to all,” as advocated by Nobel Laureates John Sulston and Joseph Stiglitz.5

When setting agendas, governments in developing countries must be careful in allocating their resources for science to achieve a balance between following the science frontier globally and addressing crucial domestic needs. A balance should also be struck between generating knowledge and disseminating and using knowledge. In addition, the global science community has a responsibility to help those developing countries that do not have adequate resources to solve problems themselves.

Finally, special efforts should be made to differentiate between pseudoscience and genuine scientific research. For the latter, one should tolerate or even encourage such indigenous research efforts in developing countries even if they do not fit the recognized international science para- digm. After all, the real advantage of a globalized scientific enterprise is not just doing the same research at a global scale, but doing new and exciting research in an enriched fashion.

Notes

1. Charles Leadbeater and James Wilsdon, The Atlas of Ideas: How Asian Inno- vation Can Benefit Us All (Demos, 2007).

2. Y. Xie et al., “Good Submissions Went Overseas—Chinese S&T Journals Could Not Keep Up with Their Overseas Peers,” Chinese Youth Daily, June 25, 2008.

3. http://ec.europa.eu/nanotechnology/pdf/nano_com_en_new.pdf 4. http://scientific.thomsonreuters.com/press/2008/8455931/ 5. Joseph Stiglitz and John Sulston, “Science is Being Held Back by Outdated